30 Tips to Sexually Please Your Wife

I was asked by my friend Belah Rose from the Delight Your Marriage podcast, to give tips to husbands to sexually please their wives. So I decided to put together a massive list of tips that you can read through and try. One disclaimer I have is that not all women are the same and so not all of these tips are going to be good for your wife. That’s why I put together such a large list, because there should be a few things on here that will help you sexually satisfy her or get her sexually aroused. 

Here go my tips in no particular order.

1. Stimulate Her Clitoris Slowly and Build Up

When using your fingers or tongue to stimulate her clitoris, start very slowly. A good pace to start with is to move your fingers or tongue in time with counting like you’re counting out music. In your mind, you’ll say 1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and 5 and…When you count the number you will lick or move your fingers up and when you say and, you will move down. Speed up from there as her body starts to react to your stimulation.

2. Tease Other Erogenous Zones to Get Her Ready

Focus on her erogenous zones before you pleasure her clitoris. 

These areas of her body can include, her back, neck, wrists, breasts, nipples, inner thighs, belly button, ears, or anywhere on her body that gives you a reaction when you touch it. Use soft kisses, sucking motions, licking, and caressing to stimulate these areas. 

3. Lift Her Butt During Oral Sex

Lift her butt slightly while giving her oral sex or place her on a pillow or a liberator wedge. This will allow her clitoris to be at a different angle and receive greater stimulation without overstimulating. 

4. Pull The Lips of Her Vagina Open 

Place a hand on either side of her vagina and gently pull open her lips, exposing more of her clitoris while you lick her or while she is using a vibrator on herself. This will allow her clitoris to tighten and have a greater sensation. Don’t do this too early in stimulation or it can overstimulate her and hurt her. 

5. Stimulate Her Nipples

Stimulate her nipples with your hands while giving her oral sex or using a vibrator. Even if she doesn’t usually like nipple stimulation, doing this while her clitoris is being stimulated can make the sensations she’s feeling between her legs be intensified.

6. Use a Mirror During Oral

Put her in front of a mirror or give her a handheld mirror to use to see you stimulating her clitoris. Adding a visual element to oral sex or direct stimulation can help her feel more excited and confident. 

7. Show And Tell During Oral Sex

While orally stimulating her, ask her to lick her finger and you mirror what she is doing. You’ll have to make sure you’re in a position to look up at her. 

8. Stimulate Her Clitoris Softly to Begin With

Start with a flat or soft tongue when stimulating her clitoris. You can use a pointy tongue when she is highly aroused. Ask her to verbally tell you when she wants it harder or faster. 

9. Don’t Push Her Clitoris Too Hard

Don’t push down too hard on her clitoris while stimulating her with your fingers or tongue. The clitoris needs the ability to contract and move while you’re stimulating it. The exception to this is when you use a vibrator to stimulate her because the vibrations stimulate differently. 

10. Insert Your Fingers or a Vibrator Inside of Her 

Put a few fingers inside of the hole of her vagina while stimulating her clitoris with your hand, vibrator, or tongue when she’s excited enough. You can also insert a vibrating wand inside of her while using your tongue or fingers to stimulate her clitoris. This is a good way to stimulate her g-spot

11. Spread Her Butt Cheeks Apart

Spread her butt cheeks apart while giving her oral sex or while she uses a vibrator or fingers to stimulate herself. You don’t have to touch her anus if that’s uncomfortable for either of you for this to bring her pleasure. Simply pulling her butt cheeks apart can stimulate the parts of the anus that will bring her greater stimulation. 

12. Try Different Oral Sex Positions

Try different positions when stimulating her orally, with your fingers, or vibrators. She may only like one or two sex positions when you are having PIV sex, but when you are stimulating her directly, different positions can bring about different sensations. You can start her out on her back if she’s not very stimulated, and then when she is more aroused switch the positions. 

13. Try a Standing Oral Sex Position 

Have her stand up with you kneeling in front of her. This will allow you to spread apart her lips more while you are pleasing her. Also, suggest she lean back and push out her hips toward your face so her clitoris is more exposed. Or she can lift her leg over your shoulder.

14. Have Her Straddle Your Face During Oral Sex

During oral sex, have her get on her knees and straddle your face for oral sex. She can either straddle you with her face pointing towards your head or with her face pointing towards your feet. If she faces towards your feet, this will allow her to pleasure your penis (69) while you please her if she can reach or wants to. Also, if she faces your feet, it will allow you to pull open her butt cheeks while you please her. 

15. Start With Oral or Manual Stimulation And Finish With PIV Sex

Start off orally or manually stimulating her clitoris and then finish with a sex position that works for her. The build-up during the manual stimulation can cause PIV sex to be more intense and feel better. 

16. Use The Shower to Stimulate Her

Take a shower together and soap up and rub your body against her back. Face her towards the shower and use the water from the showerhead to stimulate her clitoris. Do this by opening her lips and pulling the hood of her clitoris back so the water can stimulate the area. If you have a detachable head, you can pull it down and move the water around the area. Make sure to adjust the temperature so it’s not too hot. 

17. Rub Her Clitoris Through Her Underwear

Have your wife put on underwear and gently rub your fingers back and forth across her vagina. If this is too ticklish for her, apply more pressure. This can be a gentle way to get her stimulated. Once she is starting to be stimulated you can remove her underwear and do more stimulation. 

18. Whisper In Her Ear

While you are having sex with her, whisper in her ear things you love about her body. But make sure to ask her if talking distracts her from being able to orgasm. If that’s the case, back off the talking and just make sounds when she’s getting close. 

19. Make Sounds While Pleasing Her

Groan and make sounds while you’re having sex with her or manually stimulating her. This can increase her sexual excitement and awakens her senses. 

20. Kiss While Having Sex

Kiss her while you’re having sex if possible. If you can’t reach her mouth, kiss her neck, ear, or some other part of her body. 

21. Hug While Having Sex

When you first enter her for PIV sex, stop for a minute and hug her. Hold her tight and kiss her. Beginning sex out with a tender connection will help her feel more emotionally connected to you during sex. 

22. Use A Vibrator In Rear Entry Positions

To make rear entry sex positions better for your wife, give her a vibrator to hold on her clitoris while you make love to her. You can grab a fistful of her hair gently tug while she’s in this position to increase excitement. Make sure you have a firm grasp of hair and very gently pull back until her hair is taught. Read her reactions to determine if you should stop or pull a little harder. 

23. Smack Her Butt Gently

While giving your wife oral sex, you can gently smack her butt to increase excitement. Be careful not to hit her too hard or it can hurt her or kill the mood. Also, wait until she’s really aroused and nearing orgasm. The more excited she is, the less the smack will hurt and the more arousing it will be. 

24. Use Teeth On Her Clitoris

When you give her oral sex, you can gently scrape your teeth across her clitoris for pleasure. This should only be done when she’s highly aroused. Tell her to communicate with you if it’s hurting or if she likes it. If your teeth are too hard, make your tongue pointy and rub across her clitoris that way. 

25. Spoon Her And Stimulate Her

Both of you get naked and lay in a spoon position in the bed. You should be the big spoon and curl up behind her. Put lubrication on your fingers or use a vibrator with lubricant and stimulate her clitoris. Whisper in her ear things you like about her body or sexy things you like about her. 

26. Help Her With Multiple Orgasms

If you want to help your wife have multiple orgasms, get her past one orgasm and then completely stop moving. Let her body come down off the orgasm for 10-15 seconds. Then, you can start doing things to stimulate her again. If it’s too stimulating to her and she says it’s starting to hurt, stop completely and give her a longer period of time to recover. This could be 5 minutes or longer. Austin wrote a post to help husbands give their wives multiples

27. Use Lubricant to Stimulate Her

Always use lubricant when you are going to rub her vagina, especially her clitoris. Otherwise, you’re going to overstimulate that area and make it more difficult for her to become aroused. 

28. Don’t Use Soap For Intimacy

Don’t use soap inside of her while having sex in the shower. Also, don’t use soap on your fingers to get inside of her. If you need the additional lubricant, use anal lubricant or coconut oil. 

29. Keep Doing The Same Thing Until She Orgasms 

When she gets really aroused by what you’re doing to stimulate her clitoris, keep doing the same thing with the same speed until she gets there. This is not the time to reposition or change speeds. 

30. Stimulate Her Clitoris The Entire Time

Focus your attention on stimulating her clitoris at all times. That is not to say that you can’t stimulate other parts of her body with your other hand, mouth, or body, but you keep stimulating her clitoris the entire time. Everything else you do will only make the stimulation to that area feel better. 

I hope these tips help you to sexually please your wife and really satisfy her in the bedroom. If you have any tips to share, leave a comment. Want to ask me a specific question? Email me at [email protected] or fill out my anonymous questions form here

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3 Responses

  1. Keelie,
    You wouldn’t happen to have this in an Excel spreadsheet format with boxes I can tick off as I go along that I can clipboard to our headboard? : )

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