I’ve been surprised when I talk with a spouse who is completely surprised they have problems in their marriage. Maybe they knew something was off but didn’t realize their spouse was on the breaking point. How could they not know their spouse was simply dying inside?
Here’s how…there’s a major breakdown in communication.
When your level of communication goes down, then problems arise in the relationship. There are always problems that need to be solved in a marriage. If you are never disagreeing about anything, it probably means you aren’t truly communicating.
Here are a few signs that you are in trouble in your marriage.
1. The only thing you talk about is the kids.
As parents, we focus a lot of time and energy on our kids. But, if every conversation you have is about your kids, then you are missing out on connecting with each other.
If you notice the only thing you ever talk about or do together has to do with your kids, then you need to re-evaluate. Relationships that are growing and thriving do not need the presence of other relationships to keep going.
2. You think your spouse is always wrong.
We all get frustrated with our spouse at one point or another. The problem comes in when they can’t ever do anything right. If every decision they make causes you to be upset, you aren’t communicating well.
Things that used to be a minor annoyance become salt in a gaping wound. The more negative thoughts you have about your spouse, the less likely you are to listen to them.
3. You don’t know what’s going on in their life.
If you feel like you are always the last one to know what is going on in their life, that is a sure fire sign that they are no longer confiding in you. It can be very embarrassing to find out information about them second hand. Besides that, it is an indicator that you have grown apart.
4. You don’t get dressed up for them.
This could go one of two ways: either, you are more comfortable with your lover and realize you can be who you are; or you no longer care what they think of you. If you find that you never dress up for your spouse, then you are dealing with apathy at best.
If they have declined in their hygiene or stopped worrying so much about their appearance, it can also be a sign that they do not care any longer. It is one thing to get comfortable with someone, but another to be inconsiderate.
You Need Marriage Checkup
You should always be on the lookout for signs that you and your spouse are drifting apart. This is why Austin and I recommend regular marriage checkups. We developed a marriage course that is built on the foundation of couples communicating.
In each section, we cover how communication effects: