I would like to invite my husband, Austin, to talk to husbands about bringing their wives simple pleasures. He has always struggled with what to do when planning a date. Here is what he has to say to men and women:
If we’re honest, guys, we usually don’t know what our wives need. Or maybe sometimes we know what they need, but convince ourselves it can’t be that simple.
Are you like me?
If you are, you think that doing something nice for your wife has to be a big deal if it’s going to make an impact with her. This was one of my biggest mistakes up till last week during the first several years of our marriage. I wouldn’t take her on a date because I hadn’t thought of the perfect plans, including showing up with roses, whisking her away to a romantic dinner at her favorite spot, followed up by a homemade dessert picnic under the stars on a handmade blanket… or maybe it’s just me.
I finally learned one of the secrets of meeting my wife’s needs: just be there. Usually, my wife doesn’t care where we go so long as we go together, preferably without the kids. Simple dinner at the same restaurant we always go to? Fine. Long cup of coffee at the bookstore? Great. Sitting on the porch at sunset? Perfect.
The Simple Key
The key in all of this is usually simplicity. Our lives are so busy and full of noise that it’s nice to just be together and remind each other why we are so crazy about each other. It’s a simple opportunity to have some quiet conversation. Grown up conversation. It doesn’t even have to be deep, it just has to be void of interruptions from people who can’t poop by themselves.
Tonight was a great example of meeting a simple need for my wife. She had some leftover coffee and was jonesing for a frappe. I made her a simple homemade version of a caramel mocha frappe (thanks, Google!) and she was over the moon. Total cost involved: $0. Total time investment: 8 minutes, 9 if you count the googling. Payoff: that smile I love to see, plus I got a pretty good frappe too! It gave us a good excuse to call a timeout from the evening schedule, and make something together. We shared a few laughs with each other and the kids too. Right there in the middle of our kitchen, we had a 15 minute date.