Sipping Chocolates and Marriage

sipping chocolates and marriage

Last Christmas, a friend gave us a gift tin full of sipping chocolates.   You know, sipping chocolates.  No, not hot chocolate, are you crazy?  These were gourmet sipping chocolates in three luxurious flavors.  Yeah, we’d never heard of it either.  

Now, when I first heard the phrase “gourmet sipping chocolates,” I was thoroughly intrigued.  

Well well well!  This must be a robust, concentrated drink made from only the most bespoke, hand-selected cacao.  A drink so rich and flavorful that one must linger with it, daintily sipping it like a fine espresso.

It wasn’t.  It was hot chocolate.  Three flavors of hot chocolate.

But, it became a thing around our home, especially with Keelie and I.  Would you care to join me at the bistro table for a sipping chocolate? It’s… gourmet. *wink*

Coffee and Conversation

coffee-888397_1920

This afternoon, my lovely wife texted me that she was hungry and wanted to know when I’d be home for lunch.  But she said something a little different today.  She said, “I’m hungry and I want to eat lunch and sip coffee with you.”  

The rest of the non-Western world uses tea, the Reasons use coffee.

For us, coffee is a bit of a social convention.  It’s not as much about the drink as it is about relationships.  Coffee is the thing we use to gather people around for a few uninterrupted minutes of conversation and sharing life with each other.  

So I knew that when my wife said she wanted to sip coffee with me, it didn’t mean she was jonesing for a mocha.  It meant she wanted my time.  She wanted to stare at me over her steamy cup o’ joe, make googly eyes with me, and catch up in the middle of the day.

I thought we were talking about hot chocolate

Sipping Chocolates and Marriage

savor time with your spouse the way you would a good cup of coffee

A relationship like marriage should be like what we envisioned when we first read “gourmet sipping chocolates.”  It should be a robust, concentrated relationship made from the finest of hand-selected moments of tenderness, sacrifice, and love.  A relationship so rich and multi-faceted that you both have to linger over it, sipping it slowly and picking out each note and subtle flavor.  

Marriage is not a bottle of soda that you slam down quickly, thinking it will satisfy your thirst.  It’s not a quick shot of alcohol to make you feel better.  No, marriage is gourmet.  Marriage is slow, and rich.  

Marriage is a sipping chocolate.  

What does this mean?  Well, it means a few things.  

Take Time to Sip and Savor

Share coffee with your spouse

Invest time in your relationship.  Sometimes you have to take time to sit and sip some coffee (or whatever drink is your marital favorite) with your spouse.   Be near each other.  Work in the same room every now and then.  Do chores together, watch tv together, enjoy your kids together.  

But don’t rush either.  While investing time, take your time!  Ideally, your spouse isn’t going anywhere, so explore them.  Like a fine wine or a great cup of coffee, you have to take in the bouquet of their presence.  Taste the subtle notes of their personality.  See what they are best paired with.

It’s a Deeper Mug than You Realize

The Cup of Marriage is Deep

In marriage, as in life, you should always be looking at the long-game.  The reason you sip and savor your marriage is because you have many, many years to enjoy it.  The longer you sip, the deeper you’ll realize the mug is, and the more complex and wonderful you will discover your spouse is.

How do you practice the art of lingering over your spouse?  What tips have you picked up to help you get to know each other more and more deeply?  Let me know in the comments below.

One thing you may discover about each other is your need for physical connection.  I wrote an article about this not long ago.

A Different Way of Serving Your Spouse

A Different Way of Serving Your Spouse

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