How Solo Masturbation Can Effect Marriage

Brace yourself. I am about to unashamedly tell you why masturbation may not be healthy for your marriage. Are you wondering why? I believe solo sex can hinder your marriage relationship for these reasons.

There Is A Purpose For Masturbation Within Marriage

I want to clarify something about the difference between masturbation and solo sex. I am not suggesting that masturbation (achieving orgasm with your own hands) should never occur. It can have its place during intimacy with your spouse if you both are comfortable with that. However, solo sex (pleasing yourself alone) could be hurting your marriage.

There may be times when you have to spend extended time apart from your spouse. I also want to clarify that I am not suggesting you should go without sexual release during this time. I am encouraging you to include your spouse in your sexual desires which includes self-stimulation.

Solo Masturbation Damages Your Marriage

It is a popular misconception that solo sex enhances your marriage. I’m just not getting that idea. There are many people out there who feel spending time exploring yourself will make sex better with your spouse. I have not heard any legitimate reasons why this could be true.

The more you engage in solo sex, the less you will want to engage in physical intimacy with your spouse. Why would you want to initiate sex when you’ve already satisfied yourself? While solo sex is faster, you are missing out on connecting with your spouse.

Yes, engaging in sexual intercourse takes much more work than solo sex. The more you desire solo sex, the less you’ll desire your spouse. You will eventually have less sex because you are already getting it by yourself. This will damage your relationship down the road.  

solo sex damages marraige

Sexual Release Replaces Sexual Intimacy

Sexual intimacy is “intimacy” for a reason. It requires two people. There is a special mental and physical bond that happens during sex that leads to mutual satisfaction. Sex is so much more than just achieving an orgasm.

Sexual intimacy with your spouse establishes a connection with them that you cannot achieve during solo sex. Some people believe that solo sex helps you connect with yourself. Find a way to do that with your spouse.

Talk with your spouse about your sexual needs and desires. It hurts your marriage to replace intimacy with solo release. You will miss out on creating an amazing connection with your spouse.

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Keelie Reason

I'm the voice of Love, Hope, Adventure, where I talk about the marriage relationship, intimacy in marriage, and how couples can go deeper with each other. I've been helping couples for well over a decade to lean into their sexuality and explore intimacy with their spouse. My goal is to answer questions that couples have about sex that they are too afraid to ask or Google. I provide God-honoring answers and resources to help them to go on a sexual journey together.

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