How to Handle an Argument With Your Spouse Out in Public

It is bound to happen at some point or another, an argument is going to come up between you and your spouse while you’re out in public or in front of others. This is especially going to be true if you’re going through a difficult time in your relationship. 

I’m not saying you can’t disagree with your spouse in front of others. What I am saying, is that if it starts getting heated and you can see that it’s going to lead to an argument, then you need to do what you can to diffuse the situation. There’s nothing worse for your relationship than to humiliate or embarrass your spouse in front of others. 

So, what do you do when you start to argue when other people are around? There are some things you can do to defuse the bomb and keep from losing it. 

How to Handle an Argument With Your Spouse Out in Public

Decide Ahead of Time How to Handle It

Most of the time, it doesn’t occur to you to have a discussion about how to handle arguments ahead of time. This is one of those things you should talk about with your partner in order to come up with some ground rules. No one wants to be embarrassed by their spouse. 

If you didn’t have this conversation before the first public fight happens, you will definitely want to have it after to avoid future problems. 

Make A Plan Ahead Of Time

Come Up With A Code Word Or Look

A lot of times, fights happen when you least expect it. One of you might say something that bothers the other person without trying. When you are at home or in private, you can tell your partner that what they are saying is bothering you. Out in public, you don’t have the ability to come right out and say that they have hurt your feelings. 

Come up with a code word or look that you can use when you are feeling attacked by your significant other. This will tip them off that they are crossing lines with you and a fight is going to break out. 

Agree to Leave The Room or Event if Possible

Sometimes, you have to address something right away and it can’t wait until later. If that is the case, ask the person if they will leave the room with you. This will get you away from an audience and the stress of people. 

Find a private place and say what you need to say at that moment, but then agree to pick the conversation back up later on. You can’t have the entire conversation right then and there, but you can talk about behavior or other problems. 

Pick Up The Conversation Later

Leaving the room is not always possible. As hard as it might be, you will need to stop the conversation and pick it up later when you are at home. This will mean that you can’t push the issues or say things that entice your partner while you are in public. 

Pick Up The Conversation Later

Re-Direct Your Focus

Sometimes, you need to resort to distracting yourself or your partner. Most of the time, if you have a few minutes to cool off some, then you can drop the argument later. 

You might need to excuse yourself for a few minutes and take a walk. If you can’t immediately leave the room, then change the subject. 

I hope these ideas will help you to get ahead of fighting in front of other people and saying things that you regret later. 

For other blogs about communication, check out this blog.

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2 Responses

  1. Arguing in Public or in Private is stThis may not work for some couples, but how we’ve learn to avoid arguing is we finally realized after the first 38 years is was chipping away on our sanity. So we prayed and meditated to God and with his guidance, he exposed to us there is real danger to a relationship when voices are raised and insults being exchanged. Judging by all the divorce, God proved to be right.

    People say couples bicker all the time and it’s part of marriage. Well that is because some of us weren’t mentored to be stellar communicators. Thankfully the best way to combat bad communication skills is to change the way we think and focus on being polite.

    God guided me to a modern day metaphor that made me realize if we see danger, we then instinctively avoid it.

    For example, when we approach an intersection and the light turns yellow, we instinctively ease on the brakes and stop. (within 5 seconds or less) We know there is danger in running a red light. So why would place higher value in our car and our physical well being and not our emotional health and our marriages?

    We have the capacity to overt danger within 5 seconds or less, if we understood that raising our voice or saying something not nice or mean is in fact dangerous to the well being of a healthy marriage.

    Essentially end the anger in 5 seconds or less as we want to protect our spouses feelings and the marriage itself.

    Also understand God didn’t create us to be wired the same. Sometimes free spirits think they can make a conformist share the same vision and a conformist the same to a free spirit, no. But that doesn’t mean they can’t discover compromises.

    The next chance any couple gets, they should make a pact they when voices are raised, whether a mistake was made or something else, that one or the other has the green light to say: “we agreed not to this” as they instinctively know that arguments can magnify a crisis (big or small) larger than it is or sometimes arguing can fabricate a non-existent crisis out of thin air.

    A couple should be able to navigate through a disagreement or crisis through a thought provoking discussion, which helps them discover solutions and compromises much sooner, while at the same time mutually stimulating one another’s mind.

    See the danger and step

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