I let Austin in on a little secret last night. Over the last week and a half, I’ve been running a little experiment on him that I didn’t tell him about. Every night, I’ve asked him if we can spend a few minutes snuggling right before we go to sleep.

A lot of people confuse physical touch with sex. It’s not the same thing. You can be sexually intimate with your spouse, and not be meeting their physical touch needs. If you have ever read Gary Chapman’s book, The 5 Love Languages, then you will be familiar with this concept.

Now, if you didn’t know, I’m a bit of a touch me not. I’ve become very intentional about touching the people in my life that I care about.

Snuggling is not natural to me, and in fact, it can really irritate my skin. On the other hand, Austin freaking LOVES snuggling. Physical touch is his love language.

Physical Touch is Not The Same Thing as Sex

A lot of people confuse physical touch with sex. It’s not the same thing. You can be sexually intimate with your spouse, and not be meeting their physical touch needs. If you have ever read Gary Chapman’s book, The 5 Love Languages, then you will be familiar with this concept.

The physical touch that Chapman talks about is the non-sexual touching that we have with others. It can include hugging, holding hands, snuggling, sitting close, and general touching.

Resource: Find your’s or your child’s love language here.

The Snuggle Challenge

About two weeks ago, I was thinking about Kangaroo care for newborns. Have you ever heard of it? The concept is that you strip your baby down to their diaper and put them on your bare skin. It is supposed to provide huge health benefits to the baby as well as create bonding between the parent and child.

I started wondering what kind of effect it would have on us as adults to have that skin to skin contact. About a week and a half ago, I asked Austin if he wanted to snuggle before we went to bed. Of course, he had a resounding yes!

Effects From The Snuggle Challenge

Austin and I have been just a bit off with one another lately. There are a lot of outside stressers that are weighing down on both of us from the move. We are going through major transitions and fallen into a very difficult financial place. I’m not surprised that it has been affecting our moods and causing sensitivity.

The other day, Tammy Greene, from Married and Naked, sent out a newsletter addressing that same issue. She had shared how her and her husband had been off lately and what they do to stop fighting. It got me thinking that I really needed to try something.

I wondered if snuggling would soften our attitudes towards one another. One of my kids responds well to snuggling when he is having an off day. So, I figured I would try it out.

This was another motivation for me to try snuggling with Austin every night. I wondered if it would soften our attitudes towards one another. One of my kids responds well to snuggling when he is having an off day. So, I figured I would try it out.

Here’s what I noticed-

  • I don’t feel as off  
  • I feel more relaxed
  • I’m not as sensitive
  • The tension has broken between Austin and I
  • I generally feel closer to Austin and others

Coming from a person whose love language isn’t physical touch, I’ve been surprised at how it has affected me. I’m also surprised at how it has evened things out in my relationship with my husband.

I Challenge You To Snuggle!

I’m challenging you to take time to snuggle every day for a just a few minutes. This doesn’t have to just be with your spouse. Doing this with your kids will certainly be beneficial to your relationship, too.

If you take the challenge, be sure to check back in with me and let me know how it went for you. I’d love to hear your results.

You can listen to me talk about this challenge more in the video I did the other day.

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6 Responses

  1. This is one of my favourite things of the day. When my husband just snuggles up with me before we go to sleep at night. I’m glad that you feel you can share that things haven’t been as great as usual in your marriage. Personally I want to hear encouragement in my marriage from someone else who faces challenges..not someone who always has a great marriage and I can’t relate to. Keep it up Keelie.

    1. Yes, I’m learning to like snuggling more. It’s still hard for me though. 😀 so glad you are following along with our ups and downs. We all have them.

  2. I love this! Hubs and I are big snugglers. Unfortunately, my internal temperature has been changing lately (stupid perimenopause…), so it’s been a challenge to figure out how to keep cuddling without me burning up against his furnace-like skin. But I’m determined! Now more than ever. I don’t want to lose these great benefits of physical touch in our marriage.

    1. I don’t know how to help you there J. We just sweat all over each other. It’s super hot and kinda gross. We make it about 5 minutes before I’m dying. 😀

  3. Solve the heat problem by dropping the temp in your bedroom. Like most homes we have central air conditioning, but we added a small window unit to bring it down to about 68-70 (fahrenheit) in our room. It’s cool enough we need to snuggle to stay warm! And studies show we sleep better at lower temperatures as well. Double bonus.

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