Are you submissive during sex but wish you know how to take the lead? I’ve got some tips to help you become more confident and be dominant during sex.
1. Play a Bedroom Game
Bedroom games take the pressure off of what you should do next. It’s easy because you just do what the card prompt or the app tells you to do. If you’re looking for downloadable games, check out my shop here. For physical games, head over to Married Dance here. If you want an app, the Intimately Us app has great bedroom games.
2. Schedule Sex
You don’t necessarily have to put sex on your calendar and send your spouse an invite…but you can mentally schedule the next time you plan to initiate. If you struggle to take the lead in the bedroom, chances are you’ll be more successful if you set a day and time in advance that you’ll go to your spouse for sex. You can even send a flirty text or leave a note earlier in the day to help hold yourself accountable. It’s important to follow through if you are teasing in advance.
3. Create Sex Routines
I’m not saying you should do the same thing every single time, but if you follow a few routines when having sex you’ll feel more confident. You can follow the script you created.
Here is a sex routine to get you started:
- If you want to set a romantic mood, cut on sensual music and light the room with candles or string lights. But if these things are complicated and make you feel like you can’t initiate, skip this part.
- Have your husband or wife sit upright on the bed. Put pillows behind them so they are comfortable.
- Crawl on the bed next to them or straddle their legs and make out with them.
- While you make out, rub your hands up and down their body.
- If you’re dressed, take off your clothes at this point.
- Once you’ve worked yourself up some, rub your body against theirs. You can straddle one or both legs and roll your body up and down them.
- Kiss your way down their chest. Go as far as you like. If you want to give them oral for a few minutes before sex, do that now.
- Instruct your spouse to get into the position you want to have sex.
This is a simple sex routine that you can follow to initiate.
4. Pick Two or Three Foreplay Moves And Do Them
Try picking a couple of foreplay moves from the random foreplay generator or from the blog post I wrote on foreplay moves that will make you feel aroused. Do the moves for your spouse and then ask them to return the favor.
Hopefully, these tips will help you feel more confident in initiating.
