Guys, you know I LOVE Valentine’s Day. I have had my house decorated for the last few weeks because I just love it.
Maybe you think that since I have this huge love for the holiday, that we go big or go home when it comes to gift giving and the VDay date night.
Want to know the truth? We don’t go all out. Austin usually brings me a card (or makes one for me) and sometimes he comes with a balloon or chocolates. Since I love to decorate for Valentine’s, the homemade cards and balloons stay out all year.
I usually put together a nice at-home date night, and we enjoy intimate time together after the kids go to bed. Typically, I try to get a card for him and sometimes I’ll make something cute for him.
This year, our plans are to eat leftover steaks from a church fundraiser at our bistro table. What might happen after our dinner for two…well, I’ll never tell. 😉
Take the Pressure Off on Valentine’s Day
If you are married or single, I suggest you take the pressure off of this holiday. Don’t try to go out all or have huge expectations. That will just set everyone up for failure.
Be sure to check out the tips Jay Dee gives on how to take the pressure off on that day. I completely agree with him! There are some holidays around here that we work hard not to overdo it.
Valentine’s Day Dangers
I Keep it Low Key
I really appreciated what Jay Dee over at Sex Within Marriage had to say in his podcast this week. There is a lot of pressure surrounding the holiday that I’m unaware of.
I mean…I see stuff on social media that leads me to believe that people get super disappointed about the day. I just don’t get it, really. When I was growing up, my parents were pretty low-key about the holiday in how they celebrated it and handled it with us.
Although, I will say that some of my favorite cards and stuffed animals came from my daddy on Valentine’s when I was a kid. Then, when I was a teenager, Austin bought me things for the day also that I really loved. The one that still makes me laugh is he got one of those talking chihuahuas from Taco Bell one year. One of the dogs was holding a heart and it would say, “I think I’m in love”. It was way too cool.
Don’t Celebrate it if it Stresses You Out
The moment a holiday goes from being fun to stressing you out, it’s time to re-focus. It might mean that you need to just skip it. I know this can be a bit difficult with Christmas, but with these smaller holidays, just don’t worry about it.
Of course, if you decide not to celebrate a holiday, you must work it out with your spouse. It might not be that big of a deal to you, but they may get their feelings hurt.
Take yourself outside of what the world is doing or what the world has to say about Valentine’s, and decide what you and your spouse want to do to celebrate- or not celebrate.
I get it- not everyone wants pink and red hearts all over their house like I do. That is absolutely ok! You don’t have to be me. You don’t have to be what you see in commercials. You don’t have to be what you see other couples do. Just be you.
4 comments
B
Hey Keelie! Thank you for permission to just let it go. I think it’s great that you love the holiday, but I don’t like most holidays. Neither does my husband. We are trying to change that. We both come from non-Christian homes, where love and affection was not really shown, so we are learning together. We don’t hold ill will towards our parents, they weren’t shown love either and I believe they just didn’t know any better.
I’ll admit I envy you when you talk about the things your mom taught you, how she built your confidence. What a blessing! And your childhood Valentines memories, how sweet!
Our holidays typically consist of relatives on either side of the family having forced get togethers and fighting. Ugh! We are trying to make things better for our children by just “popping in” on holidays and avoiding most of the chaos.
I am a work in progress. I used to never express my needs, and just feel neglected when my husband didn’t make me feel loved. Thankfully I’m slowly learning it’s not his job to make me happy. I went too far the other was and instead of having low expectations, I expected to feel nothing but worthless and unimportant. Its a self-defense thing. But we are growing (slowly) and so now I still don’t have big expectations, as I said my husband does not come from an affectionate family, but I’m not going to be negative. I’m going to try to accept that he loves me, I’m going to try really hard to believe that, and just rest.
Great post!
Keelie Reason
I completely understand B! I was adopted, and there is much brokenness and dysfunction in my natural family. I was so blessed to have people adopt me from that terrible situation. My husband, Austin, comes from a broken family also. Holidays were hard for him growing up. We’ve just gotten to the point where we don’t even pop in on the holidays and make plans to visit on other days. It is ok if holidays are hard, just celebrate all the other times of the year together. That is what we’ve chosen to do in the month of December. We keep everything low stress and we just rejoice in our other times of the year together. You’re not the only one that deals with holiday baggage my friend. Valentine’s Day doesn’t have any baggage for my husband, so it is actually one of the reasons I love it so much. There isn’t unrealistic expectations around this day, so we can just love each other.
I am so glad that you are breaking away from what you grew up with and learning to be a healthier family. Keep going that way.
Marriage 4:29
I’m jealous you got to hold Mr. Piffles! 🙂 Looks like you had a great time. Happy Valentine’s Day Keelie and Austin!!
Keelie Reason
Yes, holding Mr. Piffles was great. 🙂 He is a sweet little dog. At one point during the show, he was barking to get down and eat the food that was on the stage. Too cute!