Tell Your Husband He is Attractive and Accept When He Says You Are

Tell your spouse he is attractive and believe him when he tells you the same

A few months ago, I had a chance to speak with a local women’s group about marriage. Now, if you didn’t know, I am the sex talk lady, so I didn’t shy away from that subject whatsoever. In fact, they knew when they invited me that a running theme would be about physical intimacy.

Tell Your Husband He is Attractive

One of the things I shared with the group really hit home with them. I challenged them to tell their husbands something that they really liked about their physical appearance. I think that we ladies can forget that our men need to be re-affirmed about their appearance.

Believe Your Spouse When They Compliment You

Also, I challenged them to accept their husband’s compliments of them regarding the way they look.

Many women exhaled deeply and I saw the look on their faces when I said that to them. This is a very hard thing to do!

It’s not just hard for women to accept their husband’s love for their body, but it is the same way for men also. There is so much pressure to look sexy or hot the way we see in ads or in magazines…way too much pressure.

The truth is, your spouse loves the way you look and if they are willing to share that with you, then you shouldn’t insult them by shooing away their compliment.

This goes for any compliment they give you, not just about your appearance. When your spouse shares that they like something about you, you insult them when you downplay the compliment.

I’m totally guilty of doing this myself! I’ve worked very hard to stop driving that wedge between Austin and myself.

All of us struggle with body image issues and insecurities. I challenge you to start believing your spouse and allow their opinion to fuel your confidence.

Here are a few articles that I wrote to help you feel better about the way you look.

How to Feel Beautiful Series

Helping Your Husband Feel Attractive

What a Couple Can Do To Feel Attractive Together

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6 Responses

  1. Ahhh….no. 🙂

    Well, the first part I’m good with. I think my husband is hot and handsome and I tell him something all the time.

    However, I know he doesn’t really think I’m attractive or pretty, and so I cannot believe him when he says that he does. For the following reasons:
    1. I’m not his type. He is attracted to women that look nothing like me. I’m really not even sure why he ever even asked me out. I’m guessing he was bored. Any time I have ever seen him notice another woman she has been short and brunette. I am neither.
    2. Growing up, I was reminded by relatives every day how ugly I was. From the time I can remember until….
    3. I have a mirror.

    He does sometimes act grumpy that I don’t believe him, but he’s just acting that way to try to get me to believe words that I know he just thinks he’s “supposed to” say.

    Sorry! I’ll do part A any day, but part B is too much for me. Great advice for the prettier wives, though! And I do agree husbands need to be reassured of their attractiveness.

  2. Hi Keelie,

    I’m sorry if my comment was offensive. This kind of post just strikes a nerve because I don’t believe my husband finds me attractive, and I so long to know what that feels like. I’m sorry if I come off as a “Debbie Downer”. I should keep my negative thoughts to myself. My marriage is really not that bad, I’m afraid I give the wrong impression. I will never know if he’s being honest or not, but I can’t bring myself to believe he finds me attractive. I’m sorry.

    I think you give great advice, sometimes I just have a hard time following it.

    1. Whether he’s lying to you about the way he feels about the way you look, or you have very low self esteem. Either, that’s a problem in your marriage that I encourage you to deal with. Recognize if the problem is the way you view yourself, or his credibility. I’m glad you follow along. You must share the things you’re feeling.

  3. “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” If a man didn’t consider a woman attractive, at least on some level, he would not have pursued her. Tastes change and we learn to appreciate something over time. At sixty-four I see many older women that I consider attractive. I would not have at thirty-four. Believe it or not, a man is able to see certain parts of his wife as wonderful while not noticing other parts. My wife has stretch marks from three pregnancies. She has to call my attention to them for me to see them. I hardly ever even notice them. Love does something special in this regard. Believe it, ladies. Because I love my wife, I never tire of seeing her body. We walk around in the buff, take showers together, and I spend wonderful times just staring at her lady parts. They are a never-ceasing joy to me, and we’ve been married over forty years. A man in love appreciates his wife’s body in ways that his wife cannot even begin to understand. You will never understand why, but you cheat yourself when you don’t believe him.

    1. So very well said! Thanks so much for that Charlie. I am very happy to hear another husband weigh in on this issue.

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