Are you having a hard time getting back into your sexy groove after babies? You’re not alone. I get asked about this all the time. Here’s what I experienced with my kids.
My Second Son Made a Big Difference
There were a lot of things that happen when after I had my second son. For me, it made my life much more isolated. Hauling around just one child wasn’t that tough. I could pretty much take Corbin anywhere and do anything. I didn’t have to stay at the house as much, because taking care of one person with one schedule wasn’t so hard.
Once my second son, Tripp was born, all of that changed. I fell like someone was sleeping almost the entire day. Getting out of the house was the hardest thing in the world because someone would miss a nap or fall asleep early in the evening and not go to bed at night. Needless to say, it was hard.
My Sex Drive Was Drained and I Had to Make a Change
Because of the isolation, I didn’t feel very much like an adult. I spent my entire day taking care of other people and I didn’t have the mental space to make the switch.
I think you would certainly benefit from a mindset change. Once I finally realized that sex was the one adult thing I could do, it made it fun and something I looked forward to. I put a lot of effort into initiating. Since I’m a sexual responder, I had to do things that made me feel excited. I would tell myself starting in the morning that we would have sex that night.
I Worked to Get in The Mood Before Sex
Then, every decision I made for the rest of the day got me to that point. I would wear a fragrance or burn a candle that we used during sex a lot. I might put on something that made me feel sexy or do my makeup, even if I wasn’t going anywhere. I’d make sure that everything was caught up so I could feel relaxed after the kids went to bed. To do that, I would ask Austin to help me get stuff done when he got home from work. Also, I learned to ignore a lot of the junk that kept my mindset away from here.
Bedroom Games Made a Big Change For Our Intimacy
One thing I think would’ve really awakened my senses and helped me was bedroom games. I didn’t know about them when I was in that place. But, we created a bedroom game for our friend’s anniversary. We decided to play it ourselves, and oh wow! I didn’t think our sex life was lacking, but it really changed that day. This is the bedroom game called, It’s Getting Hot in Here that changed it all for us. We loved how it caused us to prolong the foreplay and made a big difference.
Hormones Can Play a Role
Some of the problems that women tend to experience is hormonal. I know I had huge hormone issues after I lost 20 pounds two years ago. One of the things I’ve done is use Wild Yam Cream on my breasts, stomach, and wrists to help my body absorb it. This is the one I’m using right now. It made a difference for my period.
I’m not sure about the sex drive end of things, but I know a lot of ladies say when their progesterone is out of whack it makes it hard. Another thing to consider if you’re an oily girl is to use the Progessence Plus.
I do recommend if you use oils without a rep, that you grab this book called Lucy Libido. This is one of the very few books I’ve read in its entirety. There was a lot of great information in this book on how to use oils and oil recipes. There are oil blends you can use to help yourself get aroused. Just be careful of which oils you buy to put on sensitive places. Not all oils are created equal and you need medicinal grade oils.
What About Other Positions?
Switching up the way you have sex can be helpful. The things that felt good before babies may not feel as good now. You might need a position where your husband isn’t going as deep. Maybe you need one that doesn’t put as much pressure on your stomach. I recommend you check out Christian Friendly Sex Positions.
I’ve heard some women say that they really enjoyed anal when they were struggling with their mood. Maybe it will help you. Those women really love it and do find it easier to orgasm. Here’s my post on anal sex and the tips to help you.
If you’re struggling to get your groove back after babies, I hope this helps!
Keelie is a mother of three amazing boys and married to her high school sweetheart, Austin. She spends her days running R5 Website Management, taking care of the home, and investing in her children. In her spare time, she loves to encourage married couples to grow deeper in their relationship and find joy in their marriage.