In the past few years, my husband and I introduced music into the time we spend together. There are a few reasons why it took a while to get used to. Music can either positively affect your time, or hinder it. Music can also be a great addition to sex if you consider a few factors first.

The Rhythm Should Feel Right

Most people naturally move their bodies to the beat of the music. Our bodies just naturally flow with whatever the music’s rhythm happens to be. People typically pick fast music for running or quiet music for reading.


It’s a good idea to pick music that is slow for sex. This not only sets the tone beforehand, but it will maintain a steady rhythm during intercourse. Ultimately, pick the music that’s perfect for the both of you.

Lyrics May Not Be the Best Option

We all love “that one song.” Or two, or ten! So many songs have lyrics that we know and love. For me, if I hear a song that I know really well, singing is not optional. I’m going to do it. Therefore, it’s difficult to focus on other things I am doing at the time. So, if you’re playing music during sex that contains distracting lyrics, it’s best to just steer clear.


If you do choose to go with lyrics, try to stick with songs that center around positive love; definitely not depressing topics. You want your time with your spouse to be enjoyable and focused on each other.

Songs That Are Nostalgic

Just like we have those songs we know and love, there are songs that really bring up past events in our lives. Be mindful when choosing these songs. For example, stay away from those songs that mark romantic relationships of your past. You want to stay focused on your spouse.


If you and your spouse have certain songs that bring fond memories to mind, it’s a wonderful idea to consider using those songs. Whatever keeps you focused on one another is a good thing.

Instrumental Jazz Music

Although not everyone likes this type of music, instrumental jazz is my personal preference for romantic music. While this type tends to have quick and upbeat tempos, there are plenty of slow and quiet selections of jazz music. If you love jazz, I recommend choosing selections that have saxophone and slow beats.


Jazz isn’t your thing? That’s just fine! Instrumental music comes in various forms. There are plenty of playlists you can search for that contain beautiful compilations of instrumental music. Try a few out and find your perfect one.

Easy Listening Tunes

The key to choosing easy listening tunes is to be sure both the music and the lyrics are soft. The tempo should remain the same so that it doesn’t speed up and throw you off. I recommended listening to some selections beforehand, if you’re not sure.


When choosing music for sex, the best thing to keep in mind is choosing selections that won’t be distracting. Consider keeping your phone close to you if you’re using a playlist on there. This way, you can easily adjust the volume or shut it off completely if it’s killing the mood. Keep the conversation open with your spouse when it comes to choosing music. That way both of you are aware of each other’s wants or needs.