Tips For How to Give Oral In The 69 Sex Position

Have you ever thought about doing the 69 sex position but don’t know where to start? Or maybe you’ve tried it and been less than impressed. It can be intimidating to try giving each other simultaneous oral sex for the first time. Here are some tips for getting into the 69 position and what to do when you get there.

The first thing I always recommend when trying something new is that either person can say stop at any time. Give it a chance, but if it really isn’t going well, it’s ok if you don’t finish.

Set Expectations Ahead of Time

Just like trying anything new, you should talk about this position ahead of time. Here’s a few things you should ask each other: 

• Do you want to orgasm in this position or is this just for foreplay?
• What will we do if it’s feeling really good for one of us but not both of us? 
• How is the best way for us to communicate what feels good? 
• What will we do if we decide we want to stop?
• What if one of us is really into it and the other wants to stop receiving oral sex and just focus on the other person?
• What will we do if one of us orgasms and the other one doesn’t?
• How will we communicate if the stimulation is too hard, not comfortable, or needs to be different?

If you have these discussions ahead of time, it will make it easier if this position is just not working for you. Or, if you really love it, and the other person doesn’t, what you will do. I think with more taboo sex positions like 69 or , you should have a discussion ahead of time. Otherwise, you may get disappointed that it’s not as great as you thought it would be. Anytime you try new things in the bedroom this can be helpful.

Now, does that mean you should only try it one time and never again? No. If you try this position and you don’t like it, I encourage you to try a few times before you decide to hang it up. Over time, you may find you figure out how to do it in a way that you really love. 

What to Do About Butt Odor

I don’t know if I’ve ever read an article about 69 that addresses the fact that you’re going to have your nose in your spouse’s butt…but I’m gonna talk about it. It’s not pleasant to smell the odors coming from someone’s butt while you’re having sex…well, I won’t speak for everyone in this. I think some people don’t care, notice, or find it a turn-on.

If you are someone that is concerned about giving and receiving 69 because your actual butthole is going to be in your spouse’s face, then I recommend you use Lume Deodorant. You can put this deodorant on your private parts. It will get rid of the butt smell and your butthole will smell like nothing. (Just give it a few minutes to soak in and it won’t smell like anything. The deodorant itself actually kinda smells like butt. Go figure.) Here’s my full review of Lume deodorant, but you can grab it on Amazon here.

How to Get in The 69 Sex Position

Well, there are actually a few different ways to get into a 69 sex position. Probably one of the easiest ways to get into this position is with the girl on top. Having the guy on top is a bit more difficult to master. You could also try side by side. 

Here are the tips for each of these positions:

Girl on Top 69 Sex Position

The husband will lay on his back with his head on the edge of the bed where the wife can straddle his face. She will need to have enough room for her knees to be on either side of his head. 

My suggestion would be for the wife to get on the bed with all of her weight on one knee and make sure she has enough room before putting her other knee on the bed. Also, the husband should decide if he has the right angle to reach her. He might need to put a pillow under his neck. 

Once the wife has straddled her husband and they are sure he can reach her clitoris, she can lean forward and make sure she can reach his penis. Depending on the height difference between the couple, she may need to lean on her elbows and almost flat on his stomach to reach. Or, she might be able to prop herself up with just her hands and bend low enough to get to him. 

One thing to note is that the wife is not going to be able to grab her husband’s penis to hold it still or keep it in her mouth. For that reason, the husband will have to make sure he’s tilting his pelvis towards her mouth so she can always reach it. 

To make sure the husband can reach the wife, she may need to avoid arching her back. He can use his hands to pull her butt back down if she’s getting too far away from him. 

Husband on Top 69 Position

The challenge with having the husband on top is that he will have to keep his penis from going to far into her mouth. A few ways to keep that from being an issue includes: 

• The wife can hold the base of his penis with one of her hands to stop him from going too deep. 
• She can lean her head off of the bed and raise her head to get to his penis. This is going to require a lot of neck strength from her.
• The husband will have to keep enough control of his body that he doesn’t rest on her too much. 

For a couple to get into this position, the wife will lay her head on the edge of the bed with enough space for her husband to put his knees on either side of her head. Once he gets into position and they test to see if she can reach him, he will lean forward and make sure he can reach her. 

Side By Side 69 Position

The side-by-side position may work better for some couples that don’t have the stamina to give oral sex on their hands and knees. However, it may be a more challenging position for couples that have larger stomachs. 

To get in this position, the couple will lay on their sides with the husband’s head by his wife’s vagina and the wife’s head by her husband’s penis. Both will need to lift up the leg that’s not on the bed to provide access to their spouse. 

In order for your spouse to reach your genital area, you’ll have to keep your leg lifted. A comfortable way to do this would be to pull your foot up and make a “V” shape with your leg. You both may need to lay back a bit on your butts to provide greater access. 

Move around as much as you need so that both of you can reach the other person and orally please one another. 

How to Give Oral When In The 69 Position

Now that you figured out how to get into a position that works for you, what happens next? Now is time for you to lick, suck, and kiss your spouse’s genitals. This is going to be a different experience than simply receiving oral sex. For some people, receiving while giving can be very difficult…and make it hard for them to orgasm or enjoy the experience. For others, giving while receiving just amplifies the sex act.

Here are tips for different positions:

Wife on top/husband on the bottom

When the wife is on top, she will lean over to reach her husband’s penis. She may need to arch her back some in order to expose her clitoris so her husband can reach her. Doing 69 oral sex with the wife on top and the husband on the bottom can go like this:

-Wife leans over and puts her mouth around her husband’s penis. She cups her mouth around his penis and pushes her mouth down his penis, and pulls it back up. She can move her body up and down to give her the reach she needs. This can also help the oral sex she receives feel better as her clitoris moves across her husband’s tongue.

-The husband will lay on his back and use his mouth to lick his wife’s clitoris. He can spread her butt cheeks apart or push her butt cheeks upwards to help expose her clitoris more. To reach better, he might need a pillow under his neck. He can lick up and down, side to side, or in a circle with his tongue.

Husband on top/wife on the bottom

The husband will have his partner lay on her back and get into a comfortable position before he mounts her. He’ll need to make sure his penis can be reached by his partner’s mouth. Also, he’ll need to be able to lean forward far enough to get his mouth on his wife’s clitoris.

Here’s what each person can do to their partner’s genitals:

-Wife will need to grip her husband’s penis so she can control the depth he enters her mouth. She can use both hands and squeeze. If possible, she can move her hands up and down his shaft while she licks the frenulum or top of his penis.

-The husband will need to make sure he is far enough above his wife’s face that his penis doesn’t go to far into her mouth. He will need to lean forward to lick and suck his wife’s clitoris. The angle may not be the best for stimulation, so he can pull the hood of the clitoris towards his chest to expose it more. He can make a sharp point with his tongue and bounce his head up and down so that his tongue presses down on her clitoris and then breaks contact.

Side By Side Tips

Being side by side might be the most comfortable position since it will not require either person to hold themselves up. There can be challenges with reaching your partner’s genitals, so spreading your legs will be important. Here is what both people can do in this sex position:

-The wife can grab her husband’s penis and move it where she can reach it. She can swirl her tongue around the head of his penis, lick his frenulum, or move her head back and forth to stimulate him. Also, she can grab or rub his butt in this position.

-The husband will need to expose the clitoris so he can lick and suck. He may need to ask his wife to put her leg around his neck or lift her leg so he can get to her vagina. He can use his hand to pull the clitoris hood open and expose more to lick and suck. Also, he can insert a vibrator inside her vagina to stimulate her more while focusing on her clitoris.

I hope these tips will help you to try out the 69 sex position and see if it’s something you like.