I think most of us want a better relationship, but how do we get there? Well, first of all, you have to have reasonable expectations. For one, if you think a good relationship means that you never fight or always agree on things, then you’re going to fail. A good relationship isn’t one that is void of problems, it’s one that can figure out how to work through them with minimal damage to the other person.
If you want to have a more intimate relationship with your spouse, try some of these things this week:
1. Intentional conversation
Ask them detailed questions about their day and what they are feeling. Blanket, “how was your day?” type of questions won’t get you very far. Instead, ask them if anything interesting happened or if something happened that was hard for them to deal with.
To really get to know them, ask them “what if” questions. Like, what if we had $500 we could spend right now, what would you want to buy? Or what if we could open a restaurant, what would you serve? Coming up with fictitious scenarios and asking them how they’d respond is a great way to get to know them better. And, it’s a good way for them to get to know themselves better.
2. Spend A Nigh Having Sex Longer
Schedule a couple of hours to have sex one night; probably one where you don’t have to get up early the next day. Enjoy pro-longed foreplay. I’ll be honest, pro-longed foreplay does not come easily to me. That’s why I recommend couples play bedroom games, because it takes the pressure off of them.
3. Do Something Fun Together
So much of our lives can become consumed with a list of to-do’s. Carve out a period of time where you can laugh together and enjoy one another. Maybe even consider trying something you’ve never done before!
4. Stare Into One Another’s Eyes
When is the last time you really gazed into each other’s eyes? It’s a very intimate thing to do. Make it a point to sit down, face to face, and look at each other.
5. Ask Them What They Are Trying to Say
We all say things that are stupid sometimes. Instead of jumping down their throat and taking offense to something they said, ask them what they are actually trying to communicate.
I find that both Austin and I read into what the other is saying. Instead of starting a fight over it, we ask the other person if they were trying to communicate _____________(whatever we interpreted them to say) and give them a chance to respond. Most often, we diffuse would-be fights this way.
These are just a few ways you can work on having a better relationship starting this week.
Keelie is a mother of three amazing boys and married to her high school sweetheart, Austin. She spends her days running R5 Website Management, taking care of the home, and investing in her children. In her spare time, she loves to encourage married couples to grow deeper in their relationship and find joy in their marriage.