True physical intimacy with your spouse is connecting with each other at all types of levels. Sharing life together through experiences, talking, and physical expression all make up intimacy. A lot of women have a hard time having orgasms, even when they are connected with their loved on. This can greatly frustrate one or both partners in the marriage.
While I cannot guarantee that my advice will help a woman experience orgasm, I can offer a bit of advice that may help.
In this article, I’ll give you some tips, but also check out my full guide on female orgasms here.
Tips on How to Achieve Orgasm
Decide ahead of time what methods you would like to start with. You can do direct clitoral stimulation or intercourse. I suggest you use lubrication no matter if you are going with manual stimulation or intercourse.
Guide Your Husband
Tell your husband to start off slow. While he is pleasing you, think about what he is doing. You must be in tune with what is going on. If something feels good, moan. If it doesn’t feel good, tell him to try something else. It can be as simple as saying, “Go softer”, “keep doing that”, or “do this instead”.
Guide your spouse as much as you can. Do not feel discouraged if it is taking a long time. It can take an hour or more for you to reach orgasm the first time.
Keep Your Mind on What You Are Doing
While being pleasured, keep your mind focused on what is happening. We ladies are known for multitasking. This is when you must keep your head in the game.
Looking at what he is doing can help you keep your mind where it needs to be. Use a mirror if you can’t see what is going on. This will also give you pure things to think about when you are being intimate in the future.
Thinking about sexual acts is very stimulating. For the Godly man and woman, thinking about sexual acts that happen between each other is not sinful. However, entertaining visions that are not of one another can be very damaging.
Make Noises and Use Your Words
This may not feel comfortable, but it is important that you make noise. Whether you moan or talk, you should react vocally. I do not know the science behind why this works, but it does.
You will reach a point when moaning will help you more than talking. If you are worried that children or others will hear you, whisper or moan, but make sure you are expressing yourself vocally.
Point Your Toes and Arch Your Back
When something feels good, you often point your toes or arch your back. When you do this, it can help intensify what your spouse is doing. You do not have to wait for your body to do this naturally; go ahead and help yourself out.
Take Deep Breaths
Be sure you are breathing while you have sex. When you take deep breaths, you are sending oxygen throughout your body. You need good blood flow to your erogenous zones in order to climax. Intentionally breathe in and out as much as you can.
Feel Like the Sexy Woman You Are
There is nothing wrong with looking sexy for your husband. I’m not suggesting that you go out in public and act or dress sexy. That is a different story when you are in the bedroom with your spouse.
Even a reserved woman can feel sexy about her body when in the presence of her spouse. Feeling sexy will help you reach orgasm. You are sexy because you’re having sex.
When your husband is doing something that feels good, own it. Tell him that it feels good. Think about it in your mind. This is part of the process of reaching climax.
For you to reach orgasm, you have to decide you want to be pleased. Then you have to let your husband please you. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but it is worth it.
9 comments
V.
I love my wife very much, but I think she may be taking some of your tips too seriously. In fact she takes reaching orgasm very, very seriously. It takes her a while, 30 mins at least. And during that time she usually demands a lot from me. Like she is extremely direct and sometimes she gets annoyed if I do something wrong. So when we have sex, before she orgasms is essentially work for me because I have to focus to get her there and not upset her. And once she is done, I can then too enjoy myself.
Heather
Don’t EVER show your impatience. That will kill it dead. Give her what she needs.
Keelie Reason
Yes, I agree with that. Truly a mood killer.
Keelie Reason
I think it’s great she’s working to orgasm during your sexual experiences. It enhances the experience for her and makes it more satisfactory. Not sure how long this has been an issue, but the more she orgasms, the more she’ll be able to master this and get there. Not only that, the more you do things, the more you’ll learn the right things to help her. I know it’s a lot of work to help her with this. 30 minutes is pretty normal for a woman. And I can definitely understand it being frustrating for her if something feels good and you move and it stops feeling good. It often means you have to start over to get it to feel better. There are things you all may be able to do to help with the load on you…vibrators are sometimes a good option to help with foreplay or to even reach orgasm. If she’s comfortable, she can do some self-play that will help her feel more stimulated before you do something for her. She can do that in front of you. Also, I recommend adding a visual component to the time together, because women can respond well to visual stimulation. And lastly, some amount of self preparation on her part may help her, too. If she does things to help herself get in the mood ahead, this could help her. For you, I encourage you to continue helping her. I know it’s tough that you don’t feel you can really enjoy the time because you have to stay focused and concentrate, but the more you do with her the better you’ll be at it as well. Keep up your hope!
Bob Woll
My congratulations that Austin gets to have a wife of 20 years that looks like she must have got engaged when she was one day old.
Keelie Reason
We’ve actually only been married for 12. 🙂 we dated for 5 years before we got married, so we’ve been in relationship for a pretty long time. 😀
Keelie Reason
Thanks so much for those helpful tips. 🙂 I know that some women really struggle with this. I know so many men want to help their wives, but struggle. It can be hard for both parties when she is unsuccessful.