The other day, I was walking around a store that was full of beautiful things for my house. As I walked past each pretty item, I could feel my desire growing for something new to buy. The problem was, Austin and I are on a bit of a spending freeze. If we don’t have to buy it, we aren’t going to. I immediately exited the store, because I knew if I stayed any longer, I was going to struggle to fight the urge to buy an item.
It Can Be Easier to Avoid Arousal
I think that it goes the same way with avoiding sexual stimulation. For whatever reason, it is easier to avoid the arousal than to deal with it.
Do you want to get turned on by your spouse? Or do you avoid sexual arousal? There are many reasons that people might avoid being turned on by their lover.
Maybe you are super tired and want to get to bed as soon as you can. Or, you know you won’t have the energy even if you wanted to have sex.
It could be that you and your spouse are fighting, and you don’t want to be intimate with them as a way of getting at them for your frustrations. Or, you don’t feel you can connect, because of the tension- so you just avoid.
Some spouses have spent a lot of time pursuing their lover, and keep getting turned down. They hit a point where they would rather avoid arousal, because they don’t want to be disappointed yet again.
Whatever reason is causing you to actively avoid sex, I encourage you to address the issues and make a plan to be intimate.