Ways to Be a Better Lover- Initiate More

Intiate sex more

I’ve been challenging you to make this your year of learning to be a better lover for your spouse. One of the best ways to show your spouse that you care for them is to initiate love making. I know that this is not easy for some of you, and that is why I want to give you some practical things you can do to initiate more.

Make Your Mind Up Early in The Day

I know that a lot of things can happen from the start of the morning to the end of the night, but it is best to make your mind up early in the day that you are going to find a way to have sex that night. Go ahead and start letting your spouse know that you are interested in being with them.

You can send them a text while they are away from you to let them know what’s up. This will give you both something to look forward to. Texting can be a little easier to say things that are embarrassing to you.

Decide a way to tell them you are interested ahead of time. This way you can both know what’s happening that night.

Dress For the Occasion

dress for the occasion

Have a few outfits that communicate to your spouse that you are in the mood for sex. When you put these clothes on, it can be a signal to them.

I know that a lot of people think lingerie is the only way to show the signs, but you can go with other clothing options if you want. Get creative here. You can wear lingerie or something else that will let them know you are interested.

Go On a Schedule as Much as Possible

One thing that helped me to initiate more was to have a schedule in my mind. For a number of years, I decided that every other night was a good schedule for us. As much as possible, I would make sure that we had sex every other day whether I initiated or he did. This really helped me to take initiative.

Get Flirty


In whatever way you like to flirt with your spouse, start that when they get home from work. Let them in on it when they walk in or when you see one another again.

Some flirty suggestions can be:

  • Pinch their butt
  • Kiss them on the neck
  • Whisper in their ear
  • Wink at them
  • Rub their back

These are a few things you can do to communicate you are interested. Initiating doesn’t have to start once you get in bed, it can happen earlier in the day.  

Come Right Out and Say it

When you get better at initiating, it will be a lot easier to come right out and say it to them. Just tell them you would really like to have sex. Don’t beat around the bush, but just come right out and tell them.

This year, be a better lover by going out on a limb and initiating more. It is so much fun and helps you to feel sexier.


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