Ways to Be a Better Lover- Spend Longer on Physical Intimacy

Keep the passion in your marriage by spending long on having sex

I’ve been challenging you guys this year to find ways to be a better lover to your spouse. One of those ways is to have a few nights a month where you spend longer on physical intimacy with one another.

The Benefit of Spending More Time on Physical Intimacy

If you are like many couples, you have a lot going on in life. It can be hard to spend more than thirty minutes or so engaging in sex. I’m not saying that spending that amount of time isn’t ok, but it is good to spend more on occasion.

By taking your time and going slower, you can learn more about your spouse. This is also a great way to keep your passions burning for one another.

Another great thing about spending long on sex, is you can try out new things with each other. I think that when you feel like you need to hurry up and be finished, it takes a lot of joy out of your encounter. However, if you go into it knowing you have time, both of you will savor it more.

Carve Out Time


In order to spend more time exploring each other in the bedroom, you have to carve out time. Put it on your calendar the same way you would put a date on there. When you have the extra time scheduled, then you won’t need to rush like a normal night.

Give yourself a good hour and a half to two hours to spend with one another.

Have a Plan

are we dating enough

If the thought of spending an hour and a half to two having sex kind of overwhelms you, then you are not alone. That is why it is best to go in with a plan. Spending this much time together is going to require a little forethought.

Austin and I have put together many wonderful bedroom games that you can take advantage of. It makes it really easy, because you just do the next thing the game tells you to. It combines the fun of playing a game with the fun of having sex with your spouse.

If you don’t like the games I have on here, then I suggest that you at least have some foreplay moves written down that you can choose from. It will take a lot of the pressure off to figure out what to do. Use those foreplay ideas as a springboard to your night.

Get Creative

Don’t be afraid to get creative with your spouse. There are a lot of different things you can do when you have the time. Here are some ideas I have for you:

  • Use different pieces of furniture- consider having sex on a chair, or change your heights by using stool or benches.
  • Get the mirrors out– it can be very exciting to actually see what’s going on while you are having sex. Get in front of a mirror while for at least some of your time together. You can even use a handheld mirror to see some things you wouldn’t normally see.
  • Dance together- put on some music and dance naked. This can be very intimate and really help you feel sensual with your spouse.
  • Try different positions- give some of those ridiculous positions you read about a try. You might not even be able to make it, but you can laugh together about how you at least tried.
  • Move around the room- you don’t have to stay on your bed during this time. Move to the floor for some of your time. Go to the couch if you feel like it is secluded enough. Take time in the shower together.
  • Play a couples bedroom game– there are plenty of great games out there that you can play with your spouse that are made with the intention of being sexy with one another. Check out this card game idea from Married Christian Sex.

These are a few ideas that will hopefully get your wheels turning about fun things you can do together during your time of sex.

I hope that you will make the time to be together physically for a few hours. It will really enhance your relationship and help you to feel closer to your spouse.

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