I’ve been challenging you guys this year to find ways to be a better lover to your spouse. One of those ways is to have a few nights a month where you spend longer on physical intimacy with one another.
The Benefit of Spending More Time on Physical Intimacy
If you are like many couples, you have a lot going on in life. It can be hard to spend more than thirty minutes or so engaging in sex. I’m not saying that spending that amount of time isn’t ok, but it is good to spend more on occasion.
By taking your time and going slower, you can learn more about your spouse. This is also a great way to keep your passions burning for one another.
Another great thing about spending long on sex, is you can try out new things with each other. I think that when you feel like you need to hurry up and be finished, it takes a lot of joy out of your encounter. However, if you go into it knowing you have time, both of you will savor it more.
Carve Out Time
In order to spend more time exploring each other in the bedroom, you have to carve out time. Put it on your calendar the same way you would put a date on there. When you have the extra time scheduled, then you won’t need to rush like a normal night.
Give yourself a good hour and a half to two hours to spend with one another.
Have a Plan
If the thought of spending an hour and a half to two having sex kind of overwhelms you, then you are not alone. That is why it is best to go in with a plan. Spending this much time together is going to require a little forethought.
Austin and I have put together many wonderful bedroom games that you can take advantage of. It makes it really easy, because you just do the next thing the game tells you to. It combines the fun of playing a game with the fun of having sex with your spouse.
If you don’t like the games I have on here, then I suggest that you at least have some foreplay moves written down that you can choose from. It will take a lot of the pressure off to figure out what to do. Use those foreplay ideas as a springboard to your night.
Get Creative
Don’t be afraid to get creative with your spouse. There are a lot of different things you can do when you have the time. Here are some ideas I have for you:
- Use different pieces of furniture- consider having sex on a chair, or change your heights by using stool or benches.
- Get the mirrors out– it can be very exciting to actually see what’s going on while you are having sex. Get in front of a mirror while for at least some of your time together. You can even use a handheld mirror to see some things you wouldn’t normally see.
- Dance together- put on some music and dance naked. This can be very intimate and really help you feel sensual with your spouse.
- Try different positions- give some of those ridiculous positions you read about a try. You might not even be able to make it, but you can laugh together about how you at least tried.
- Move around the room- you don’t have to stay on your bed during this time. Move to the floor for some of your time. Go to the couch if you feel like it is secluded enough. Take time in the shower together.
- Play a couples bedroom game– there are plenty of great games out there that you can play with your spouse that are made with the intention of being sexy with one another. Check out this card game idea from Married Christian Sex.
These are a few ideas that will hopefully get your wheels turning about fun things you can do together during your time of sex.
I hope that you will make the time to be together physically for a few hours. It will really enhance your relationship and help you to feel closer to your spouse.
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7 comments
B
Keelie, you have awesome ideas! Some of them are really hard to implement, but I guess I just need to put more effort into it. My husband’s job keeps him busy and exhausted most of the time. I appreciate how hard he works, and I could never do what he does, and I very much admire how strong he is. I do long for the day when he can stay awake past 7:30! He does get up around 4:30, and he works very hard, outdoors, at least 10 hours a day, usually 6 days a week. I am so thankful that about three years ago he stopped working Sundays. That helped our family life tremendously. I don’t want to be greedy, but I do long for more time together.
We have been dreaming about getting away together, even for one night, but it never happens. I was feeling down, figuring I just wasn’t important enough to him, but I don’t think that’s it. There just isn’t enough time. Maybe someday! I can keep dreaming…. And in the meantime, perhaps I need to put more effort into making things happen at home.
Just once, I’d like to be “swept off my feet”, but that’s not who he is. So I need to do my part to create more time spent together.
Keelie Reason
I love your positive attitude about this. 🙂 It can be so hard to deal with jobs and earning. I hope it will get better for you.
Ivanna
I’m so glad you wrote this! Seriously, though, since I live on a Christian ship and operate under their internet connection, most typical websites I’d go to for sex-piration are blocked. But not yours! Thanks for the encouragement.
Keelie Reason
that is wonderful to hear! You can feel free to check out my older posts, many of which are very helpful for those looking for that type of information. 🙂 Glad you found me.
Hiba Boutari
Hi Keelie, whew, what a post!!! My husband and I have been together for five years, and we dated five years before that. It’s always great to learn new things to keep stuff spicy. I found that dancing together worked wonders for us when we least expected it. We were havig drinks and started to dance in the living room and that reminded us of our clubbing days… and the rest is history! This is a great post, I plan on writing an article about intimacy soon, and I will definitely link to your article when I do!
Keelie Reason
I think that is great Hiba. 🙂