I’ve been sharing with you guys some ways you can be a better lover this year. Not everything happens in the bedroom. In fact, the best way to be a better lover is to build a deeper relationship with your spouse.
In order to be closer in relationship with anyone, you have to spend time with them. I’m not just talking about sitting side by side while you’re barely conscious and watching television. What I mean, is you need to step away from the ordinary and be one another’s escape from life.
Take Time to Date
I have run into so many couples that tell me that they haven’t done much in the way of dating since who knows when. Look- having kids puts a kink in things, but that doesn’t mean you can’t figure out ways around the time suck.
For many years, we haven’t been able to afford to pay babysitters. We’ve been at the mercy of whatever friend that would be willing to watch our kids for a few hours. Even now, we might be able to get someone to take them once a month or every other month.
That Doesn’t Mean We Haven’t Been Dating
It is really important that you understand what a date is for. If you are unable to get out of your house because of young kids, you can still date your spouse. I know that nursing schedules, attached children, finances- any number of things can keep you from leaving your house.
Remember back in your dating years, before you got married? The purpose of going on a date with your interest was to spend focused time getting to know each other. You both left the daily grind and joined up to have a good time.
The same thing is still true of your dating life. You and your spouse should walk away from the normalcy of life and be one another’s retreat. This is why I’m so big on conversation starters so that you and your spouse do not end up talking about your responsibilities.
We Crave Depth in Relationships
All of us crave going deeper in a relationships with others. When it comes to your spouse, that is the most intimate relationship you will have aside from the one you have with Christ.
It is very important that you find ways to connect with one another through spending time together. Even if you have a mini-date or a at home date night, as long as you focus on each other and put what’s going on in life aside, you will have a better relationship.
I encourage you to make the time to focus on your spouse. Whether you sit down with your favorite drinks and talk, or head out to do an activity together, give each other your attention.