This week, Austin and I got on Periscope and Facebook Live at the same time (I know, we’re talented) to talk about communication problems we’ve had in our marriage.
You can watch it below-
Just so you know, when we are live streaming, none of it is scripted ahead of time- as evidenced by the fact that I knocked Austin’s drink out of his hand while we were talking.
While we were sharing some of our communication struggles that we’ve had in the past, we had an ah-ha moment with one another- right there on live camera.
I started sharing about how I am seeing his responses to frustrating situations in a different way. What will happen is I will ask him to do something for me the ends up making him irritated.
For many years, I’ve taken his frustration personally against me.
I would think that he was getting mad at me for asking him to do something that was hard. Every grunt or noise he would make caused me to feel more and more hurt. If only I hadn’t asked him to do the thing that was making him upset.
In the past few weeks, I’ve really started to see that he isn’t at all frustrated with me, but he’s just mad at the situation. When things do not work right, it’s ok to get upset and irritated. Now, I realize he isn’t upset with me.
While I was sharing that with him, he was able to voice that he has felt the same way.
When I get frustrated with my phone. If you didn’t know, electronics absolutely hate me. They like to stop working on me.
Austin said that when I would get mad at my phone or other electronics, it would bother him, because he buys these things for me. My actions would communicate to him that he I wasn’t happy with something he did for me.
After our talk the other night, he realizes that I am just frustrated with my phone, not him.
It is so important to have conversations on a regular basis with your spouse and really work to understand them.