What 600 Posts Has Taught Me about Marriage

Today we hit an interesting milestone. This post is the 600th post on Love Hope Adventure. The first question is: Why make a big deal of 600 instead of 500? There are a couple of answers.

1. I didn’t notice #500 as it sailed by.
2. I DID notice this one coming.
3. Keelie doesn’t care about arbitrary milestones.
4. I do. 😉

LHA’s Beginning

You may have heard our blogging story before, but many of you probably haven’t. Basically, it started with an unfulfilled dream and a nagging husband.

Keelie always wanted to be a writer. She thought that meant writing novels or short stories, etc. Suddenly a few years ago, blogs really took off. She encouraged me to start a blog and I started one. No one read it. I started encouraging her to start one because she had begun to read a few popular blogs. After months (years?) of nagging, she decided to give it a shot.

We had just redone our den in a rustic look and took a few pieces of an old pallet to paint inspirational words on to hang on the wall. Keelie painted “LOVE” on one, and “HOPE” on another. She was looking for another word and I threw out “ADVENTURE.” Seemed like good words for our family, and they became a part of our home.

Right after this, it was time to buy a URL for Keelie’s new blog. She didn’t know what the blog would be about, so she didn’t have a name in mind. We tried several ideas, but they were all taken. On a whim, I typed in lovehopeadventure.com. It was available.

She started posting right away and hasn’t ever stopped. If you look back, you can see that it took a while to hone in on exactly what the blog was about. One day, she came to me and said “You know, we’ve always had a real passion for marriage. I think I’m going to focus on that.” Later, that took an even more focused approach to physical intimacy.

Three years and three months later, LHA is still running strong. We’ve both learned so much about marriage. We had a good foundation, but there’s always more to learn and experience. I thought I’d share some of the things that have emerged as themes as we’ve learned and grown over these last few years.

Marriage is hard. Like, seriously hard

Thankfully, Keelie and I both had plenty of people in our lives that didn’t sugarcoat marriage for us. We knew marriage was going to be hard work. But seriously, it’s really hard. We discovered this in our own marriage, sure.

We discovered this in our own marriage, sure. But we also learned it by interacting with other couples. Some of these were in our personal lives, and some were through our blog and other blogs. We watched some really terrible things happen to couples. It’s one thing when you watch a bad marriage get worse. Watching a good marriage become terrible is gut-wrenching.

Couples don’t talk enough

Keelie and I have always strongly emphasized the importance of communication in our relationship. It goes back into our dating years as teenagers. Over time, we’ve seen how many problems in marriages stem back to bad communication habits.

Couples don’t talk. When they do, they aren’t speaking the same language. They aren’t listening to each other, not really. One of our core principles is that we believe communication is key in marriage.

There is hope

While we’ve heard some very hard stories, we’ve heard some really hopeful ones as well. We know blogger friends with amazing stories of redemption. We have our own stories of hard times that we got through together. You can get through the difficulties.

We need a safe place to talk openly about sex

Sex is so integral to marriage. I didn’t know this when I got married. I thought it was part of marriage (a really awesome part!), but I didn’t realize how central it is and the huge role it plays.

Such an important topic is obviously a regular part of our conversations with our friends, family, and churches, right? I wish. In conservative circles, particularly churches, it is mostly taboo. When we talk about it, it’s usually in terms of sexual sin. It’s about the things we shouldn’t do.

Keelie and I have tried to build a community where we can talk openly about the things we should do. We want to be able to discuss the things we can do. We try to explore the adventurous side of intimacy.

I’ve found that a lot of questions that we get, and that other bloggers get, center on two main areas:

1. Are we allowed to _____________ as a married couple? This usually involves some particular position or act and whether it’s morally permissible.
2. How do we ___________________ better? These questions focus more on practical aspects – techniques, how-to, etc.

These are valid questions that deserve answers! But where can people go? People don’t always want to talk about this stuff with friends. It can be uncomfortable. We see this on our Facebook page.

When we post an article about a DIY project, recipe, or how to talk to your spouse we get comments, likes, shares like crazy. Post an article about trying a new position in the bedroom tonight? Ghost town!

I get it! I understand that people may not want their mom to see that they liked an article about oral stimulation techniques. People want a safe place to bring up these subjects.

A New Community

We want to be one of those places. Keelie and I have been working for a couple of months on doing just that. We want to offer you a haven, free from judgment, to ask the questions you’ve been afraid to bring up.

If this sounds like something you’d be interested in, sign up for our newsletter for updates and to be the among the first to sign up.

Thanks, yall!

Another thing we’ve learned these last 3 years is that yall rock! We get so much encouragement from you. Knowing that what we put so much time and effort into is touching people and helping marriages makes it all worth it.

Thank you for reading, for commenting, and for being part of the Love Hope Adventure Community. Here’s to the next 600 posts!

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