A while ago, I wrote a series on how to feel beautiful. That was a set of articles that was geared toward women. However, I think that there are many guys out there who need to feel good about the way they look. I was pretty sure that you men aren’t going to click on a title about feeling beautiful. For that reason, I have chosen to write a different series of articles that will help both men and women find ways to change their attitudes about their appearance.
I’ve already written a general post of challenges you can take that will help you learn to like yourself.
Learning to Like The Way You Look as a Couple
Today, I want to talk about the things you and your spouse can do together to make you look sexy together. Part of being sexually satisfied is tied to how you see yourself when being intimate with your lover. When you like what you see, you will be more satisfied than if you hate what you see.
How can you possibly be free enough to express yourself sexually if you are self-conscious the entire time.
I put together some ideas to help you feel sexy with your spouse. What better way to grow in confidence about your looks than to engage in intimacy with the one who loves you the most?
Get Naked In Front of the Mirror Together
Maybe you don’t think you look that great, but gazing into a mirror with your lover changes your perspective. Take the time to look at each other in front of a mirror while you are dressed, as well as during intimate times.
Using mirrors during lovemaking is a great way to think you look sexier. Seeing yourself engaged with your spouse will give you a huge confidence boost.
When you see your nakedness tangled up in your lover’s nakedness, it can be a major turn-on.
Pairing visions of yourself with physical pleasure will train your brain to get excited by seeing yourself.
Cast A Sexy Glow With Lighting
The right lighting has a lot to do with my ability to get comfortable. Too harsh of a light will distract me, and when it is not bright enough, I am equally as distracted. While I realize that my light sensitivity is not shared by all, what I do know is that the right lighting does amazing things for your body.
In my bedroom, I have two strands of white Christmas lights. I find that these lights cast the perfect romantic glow in the room.
Think about it this way. Every photographer out there uses lighting to their advantage. It softens out imperfections and makes skin look perfect.
You can immediately feel better about the way you look when the lighting is right.
Take Nude Pictures Or Flattering Pictures
Take pictures of yourself and find a flattering angle. If you’re not ready to take a fully nude picture of yourself, then put on clothes you feel good in. Taking pictures of yourself gives you the opportunity to pose and get in a good position. Who doesn’t feel sexy after seeing a picture of themselves where they look awesome?
Camera angles are everything when it comes to taking sexy pictures.
I find that when you hold the camera over your head and look up, you will come up with some great looks.
You can go as far as you dare with the picture taking. Check out the sexy picture dare game I put together for ideas for poses to get into.
Rub All Over Each Other’s Bodies
Take time to really explore your spouse’s body and allow them to explore yours. Use your hands and rub all over their body. Having you touch them all over will help them to feel sexy and confident.
You can also do self-exploration to figure out what kind of touch your body responds to. You won’t be able to figure it all out by yourself, because touching yourself doesn’t usually give you the same experience as someone else touching you.
It is a good idea to invite your spouse to rub their hands over your body. Pay attention to how you feel on each spot they touch. Don’t be afraid to ask them to linger in a place if it feels good to you.
Wear Something You Feel Good In
Put on an outfit that makes you like the way you look. This goes for both of you. If you or your spouse have no idea what to wear, then pick out something for one another. You can turn it into a fun date night by going out and trying on outfits for each other. Obviously, you can’t do this with lingerie, but you can pick out an outfit you think the other person would look sexy in.
Stimulate Each Other’s Erogenous Zones
Use your mouth, tongue, fingers, hand, or whatever you choose to directly stimulate your lover’s erogenous zones. When you stimulate them, they’ll feel turned on and sexier. Make sure you are looking up at them and lock your eyes.
If you are the one being pleased, pay attention to what your lover is doing for you. Again, parring visual stimulation with physical stimulation will tell your brain what sexy looks and feels like.
Be Flirty With Each Other
The flirting you do doesn’t have to just be foreplay. You can give them that look while you are cooking dinner. Grab their butt when you walk by. Text a sweet message during the day.
Find ways that you can flirt with your spouse that appeal to them. They will feel good about themselves because you are paying attention to them.
Incorporate Sexy Talk During Lovemaking
Use your bedroom language with your spouse during lovemaking. These words can be whatever you have established ahead of time as being ok.
Be sure to describe to your lover what you like about their body. Share with them how their motions make you feel. Tell them what you can see and how it turns you on.
Of course, you need to make sure you aren’t talking too much that it causes you or them to feel distracted.
These are a few things you can do as a couple to feel sexy together. All of these ideas are things you can do in the bedroom.
I realize that there are other things you can do as a couple to feel sexy, other than what you do behind closed doors. I think that physical intimacy is a great place to start, though.
101 comments
April G
These are some great tips. I don’t feel attractive and I don’t know if there’s anything he can do to change that. He’s highly attracted to me even though I don’t quite see why. I certainly couldn’t stand in the mirror next to him. He’s looking better than ever these days. Makes me feel worse.
Keelie Reason
Awe….I hate that for you. I hope one day you can see yourself the way he does
andi
one tip left out – God is in the middle of EVERY marriage….. 😀
Keelie Reason
I agree, that is very helpful. 🙂
Zoe
Loved your post! Time for some more selfies I reckon!
Here’s a fabulous and more intimate weekend!
Best wishes!
Keelie Reason
Thanks so much. 🙂
Rachel
There are certainly great tips in this post. I did not think about the mirror in this way, new trick to put in my sexy tool box thank you. I agree with you about the lighting, it can certainly create the ambiance in the room and toss in a little back ground music. Candles have a way of flicking dancing shadows across the walls and keep a room warm as well. Thanks for a great post.
Rachel
Keelie Reason
Hope the mirrors really help you out! I love using mirrors now. 🙂
Dash Kitten
Feeling confident in each others company is a big plus. You walk taller and feel you are not taking on the world alone.
Keelie Reason
That is true! I agree with you. 🙂
Karen
I really enjoyed reading this! I would say looking into the mirror together, and working out together; either at home or at a gym
Keelie Reason
working out together is a great thing to do.
Jamie
Great tips!! Just because I’m married doesn’t mean that I can’t have fun!! These are great things to try with my husband! 🙂
Keelie Reason
Yes, it is so important to have fun with your loved one.
Melody
My other half and I put on some weight due going on a lot of dates which includes eating a lot.Recently I went back to yoga and she came along she loved it.That what makes us feel attrative
Keelie Reason
Yoga is great for your mind and your strength. That is great to work out with your significant other. Anytime you can do things together as a couple, it can really build your bond.
Grace
Wow, great tips. Lots of these make me feel super insecure, and I don’t think I’d be able to do them. I really struggle with intimacy in my marriage due to insecurities. Another one I thought of (because it’s a struggle for me as well) is dancing with your partner.
Keelie Reason
I completely understand Grace. It is so hard to be vulnerable, even in our marriages. That is why it is good to pick one thing and go for it. Over time, you will warm up to it and it will help you. Good luck on finding ways to be more secure in who you are. It is so important that you do that.
Jen
My hubby and I like to laugh and be silly together. On the flip side, we also like to slow dance around the living room. 🙂
Keelie Reason
Yes, it is great to have fun and do romantic things. 🙂
Leila
I liked this post. Hubby and I have been married 10 years but we still flirt. It makes it fun and exciting! I am going to give a few of these ideas a try too!
Keelie Reason
Leila, I’ve been married for 12 years, and I can say that 10 years into it, we really started committing to doing more to be intimate. That is why our sex life took off. I hope that the same will happen for you. 🙂
Nicole R (@AlwaysReiding)
i never actually thought about this–but I definitely want to start thinking about it. Thank you for giving me something to figure out with my husband!
Keelie Reason
Awesome! I hope that you do find some great things to try out with your husband.
Bryce Rae
Very interesting, not the type of article you read everyday. But these things need to be thought and talked about. It’s all part of a successful relationship.
Keelie Reason
Hahaha…you’re response made me laugh, because I’m a marriage and sex blogger, so I read these types of articles every day! Lol…I’m glad that you found it interesting. Thanks for stopping by to check it out.
Michelle
This was an interesting list to read. It’s a topic that does need more attention!
Keelie Reason
Thanks. 🙂
Debbie @ Traveling Well For Less
Intimacy is so important to a marriage, great job of pointing out simple ways to help encourage it. Cute idea of using the Christmas lights.
Keelie Reason
I love Christmas lights. 🙂
Macy
This was a great post! Me and my husband have double sinks in our bathroom so we are always in the mirror together. We also make sure to have professional photos done once a year 🙂
Keelie Reason
That’s a great idea to get your photos done every year.
LizZ H.
We do all of these…ever since we first started going together. But we have also only been married for 3 yrs.
Keelie Reason
I say keep up the good work then!
Cole
These are excellent tips! My husband and I are always complimenting one another and trying new things to keep out relationship exciting!
Keelie Reason
That’s great!
Melody Maynard
These are some great tips! It’s awesome when you and your spouse can find each other’s groove. My husband just called me on his lunch break to ask me out on a date tonight, and it totally made my day. He almost always calls on his lunch break, and it’s great to know he’s thinking of me.
Keelie Reason
That is awesome!
Stephanie @ Crayon Marks and Tiger Stripes
Taking time to be intimate with your spouse is so important and it is a great way to reconnect. This should be a priority in every marriage. Great tips!
Keelie Reason
I agree. We should all be investing in intimacy!
Icar
Very good advice! And may I add, the best “accessory” we can have is our spouse. The love you have for eachother will make both of you exude with happiness that can transcend to others…
Keelie Reason
I agree. Great thoughts about the accessory.
Marie
I love taking pictures together. Plus, with digital cameras and camera phones, you can actually perfect one photo to keep with you whenever you’re feeling less than sexy!
Keelie Reason
That is true. It is helpful to have cameras and photo editing. 🙂
rads
What a post! So much work and so many tips and this was such a refresher (coz we all forget after being married for this long!)
Thank u! Totally enjoyed it and Ive saved it too 🙂
Keelie Reason
Thanks so much. 🙂 I know it can be hard to keep your focus afterwards.
Gina
Good post. I think it’s really important to make your marriage a priority.
Keelie Reason
I agree 🙂
Sarah@TheOrthodoxMama
My husband does a really great job of making me feel attractive. My favorite is the little wink he gives me when we’re in public. It reminds me of his love and is super flirtatious 🙂
Keelie Reason
That is so so sweet! I love to hear about those kinds of interactions between people.
dawn
There is an something for everyone in your post, they just need to pick 1 that will help them. Great ideas!
Keelie Reason
Thanks so much. 🙂
Beth~ A Disney Mom's Thoughts
This is a great list for all married couples to read. I like the idea of using Christmas lights in the bedroom. What a fun, unique way to add ambiance lighting to a romantic setting!
Keelie Reason
I love Christmas lights. So easy!
Keelie Reason
I love Christmas lights! It’s so easy, and much faster then candles.
aaronica (the crunchy mommy)
i’m not sure of what we do to make us feel more attractive as a couple but these are nice tips!
Keelie Reason
Thanks so much. 🙂
Jen
This is a great list of specific actions! My husband and I are both struggling a little bit individually with appreciating how we look but for some reason when we are together, there’s no awkwardness or hesitation. I think part of it is because he is so enthusiastic. I know when he looks at me that there is no one else more desirable to him in the world, and it’s hard to not catch that excitement.
Keelie Reason
I get you on this one. It can be really hard to have a good self image. So important to come up with ways to feel good about yourself.
Aimee
Yes, having self-confidence is key to developing physical intimacy. When I am not feeling good about my fitness or eating habits and the resulting appearance of my body, it is hard to be confident in the bedroom with my husband. One thing I remind myself and others of is that (hopefully) our body is the only one that our husbands will look at and touch in the flesh. To him, it is a thing of beauty no matter what because it belongs to him and him alone. We need to let our husbands enjoy our bodies so they are satisfied with us only. Great, provocative post!
Keelie Reason
Thanks so much for reading. 🙂 I agree, we should be enjoying sex with our spouse and loving what God gave us.
Rena McDaniel
You have to be honest with your partner about what you want and also what you are comfortable with. After 25 years I think we got this part down. Good piece. Have a great weekend.
Keelie Reason
I agree, being open and honest about what you need is very important. 🙂 You have a great weekend too!
Jamie
These are wonderful tips for marriage! I have to say that being OK with how I look has been very hard for me….but knowing my husband loves me and my body (after 4 kids) makes it a lot better!
Keelie Reason
I agree, it is so reassuring to have a husband that thinks you are beautiful.
Camesha | Mama Motivator
Good advice. Many things I haven’t thought of. Taking pictures and being in the mirror together are really good suggestions.
Keelie Reason
I’m so glad that you like the ideas!
Nelly
Thank You. I like it a lot, great list.
Keelie Reason
You are welcome!
Angela
Spicy tips for sure! The lighting tip was my favorite. Just make sure your relationship is rock solid before bringing a camera into your intimate moments. Could led to some potentially embarrassing scenarios down the road.
Keelie Reason
Very true, cameras can get to be a problem if you aren’t with a committed spouse
Estrella
I used to feel a bit self-conscious when taking photos, but I was able to get over that by taking ‘selfies’. I never posted them on anything, just kept them on my phone and deleted them afterwards, but it made me more comfortable in front of the camera when taking photos with others.
Keelie Reason
Yeah, I know a lot of people have hated the hole selfie movement, but I am with you, selfies helped me get more comfortable in front of the camera.
K. Elizabeth @ YUMMommy
I’m revamping my wardrobe right now to add more pieces that I feel confident in and that complement my current shape. It’s amazing how changing a few simple things can change the way feel about ourselves.
Keelie Reason
that really does make a difference! It is so crazy how a few changes can help you feel better about yourself.
Anne Campbell
Staying connected and feeling safe and not judged with each other are important for true intimacy. Great tips!
Keelie Reason
Thanks so much. 🙂
Be Gracefully Inspired
Great tips! My hubby and I love to flirt with each other. Laughing together, really keeps us connected.
Keelie Reason
Those are some great things to do! Laugh together.
Antionette Blake
Great tips, those sexy and seductive touches are always great too.
Keelie Reason
I agree about the sexy touches. 🙂
Vasantha Vivek
Wonderful post. We have smiles as our attractive. smile at each other, smile with each other … Smile … Smile …
Keelie Reason
Yes! Smiling is so important. Laughing and having fun together certainly helps you feel attractive with your spouse.
Tara
Looking forward to delving into your blog some more! My husband is great with giving compliments. It also helps when we keep similar schedules.
Keelie Reason
That’s great that he is so good with compliments. Always a nice thing to be appreciated.
Margo
Even after 30+ years of marriage, it is important to learn to appreciate your spouse in new ways 🙂
Keelie Reason
My parents have been married for over 30 years, and I think they are always finding new ways to love one another.
The Results Guy
Every couple, particularly the newly married need to read this article. It such simple small things that others tend to forget or take for granted that will then lead to a bigger divide. This post is good, I tell you
Keelie Reason
Thanks so much for saying that. 🙂
Kelly Canfield
My Hubs and I love to spend time together. Usually just a hot drink together while the kiddos are napping, but it sure does help us feel more connected. Thanks for the post, I think that it is SO important to invest in your marriage! 🙂
Keelie Reason
I agree! We are huge coffee drinkers.
Heather aka HoJo
Just being together is the best way for my husband to make me feel attractive. We also try to give the other one the love language that works best. And there’s nothing wrong with a good back massage or just simple hand holding. There are so many ways couples can help one another feel attractive! Thank you for the reminders!
Keelie Reason
Yes! Speaking in their love language is so helpful.
Jessica
Spicy advice Keelie 😉 Love it, and a lot of this is really helpful insight!
Keelie Reason
Glad you enjoyed it!
Helen
So many great ideas. So important to take the time these things take in marriage. Thanks for all the advice!
Keelie Reason
You are welcomed! I appreciate you taking the time to read over it. 🙂
Karin Rambo
My husband and I like to laugh together. And all hail the power of a candle lit room!
Keelie Reason
Laughing together is so much fun 🙂 Yes…I agree…candlelit rooms are where it’s at.
Stuart
Very good advice Keelie.
I wish more couples would realize the benefit of the “hands on” effect. It is so sensual, pleasing and gives you the feeling of being loved and desires.
Keelie Reason
I agree with you. Hands on is so important.