What a Couple Can Do Together to Feel Attractive

what acouple can do together to feel super sexy

A while ago, I wrote a series on how to feel beautiful.  That was a set of articles that was geared toward women.

However, I think that there are many guys out there that are in need of feeling good about the way they look. I was pretty sure that you men aren’t going to click on a title about feeling beautiful. For that reason, I have chosen to write a different series of articles that will help both men and women find ways to change their attitude about their appearance.

I’ve already written a general post of challenges you can take that will help you learn to like yourself

Learning to Like The Way You Look as a Couple

Today, I want to talk about the things you and your spouse can do together to think you look sexy together. Part of being sexually satisfied is tied to how you see yourself when being intimate with your lover. When you like what you see, you will be more satisfied than if you hate what you see.

How can you possibly be free enough to express yourself sexually if you are self-conscious the entire time.

I put together some ideas that will help you to feel sexy with your spouse. What better way to grow in confidence about your looks than to engage in intimacy with the one that loves you the most?

Get in Front of the Mirror Together


Maybe you don’t think you look that great on your own, but gazing into a mirror with your lover changes your perspective. Take the time to look at each other in front of a mirror while you are dressed, as well as during intimate times.

Using mirrors during love making is a great way to think you look sexier. Seeing yourself engaged with your spouse will give you a huge confidence boost.

When you see your nakedness tangled up in your lover’s nakedness, it can be a major turn on. 

Pairing visions of yourself with physical pleasure will train your brain to get excited by seeing yourself.


Cast the Right Glow With Lighting

The right lighting has a lot to do with my ability to get comfortable. Too harsh of a light will distract me, and when it is not bright enough, I am equally as distracted. While I realize that my light sensitivity is not shared by all, what I do know is that the right lighting does amazing things for your body.

In my bedroom, I have two strands of white Christmas lights. I find that these lights cast the perfect romantic glow in the room.

Think about it this way. Every photographer out there uses lighting to their advantage. It softens out imperfections and makes skin look perfect.

You can immediately feel better about the way you look when the lighting is right.

Take Lots of Pictures

I know you are probably tired of the number of selfies you see on your Facebook feed. However, selfies can really help you to think you are sexy. Who doesn’t feel good after seeing a picture of themselves where they look awesome?



Camera angles are everything when it comes to taking sexy pictures.

I find that when you hold the camera over your head and look up, you will come up with some great looks.

You can go as far as you dare with the picture taking. Check out the sexy picture dare game I put together for ideas for poses to get into.

Use A Hands On Approach

Take time to really explore your spouse’s body and allow them to explore yours. Use your hands and rub all over their body. Having you touch them all over will cause them to feel sexy and confident.

You can also do self exploration when you are with your spouse. I am not suggesting you get alone to do this, but that you do it with your lover right there. If you think it is weird to rub your own body, guide your spouse’s hand over you.

Wear Something You Feel Good In

Put on an outfit that makes you like the way you look. This goes for both of you. If you or your spouse has no idea what to wear, then pick out something for one another.

It is important that your spouse knows what they wear that makes you feel turned on. This can be a fun date night if you want to go out and pick something for one another.

Directly Stimulate Each Other


Use your mouth, tongue, fingers, hand or whatever you choose to directly stimulate your lover. When you pay attention to them down there, it will help them think they are sexy. Make sure you are looking up at them and lock eyes.

If you are the one being pleased, pay attention to what your lover is doing for you. Again, parring visual stimulation with physical stimulation will tell your brain what sexy looks and feels like.

Flirt, Flirt, and Flirt Some More

The flirting you do doesn’t have to just be foreplay. You can give them that look while you are cooking dinner. Grab their butt when you walk by. Text a sweet message during the day.

Find ways that you can flirt with your spouse that appeals to them. They will feel good about themselves because you are paying attention to them.

Talk During Lovemaking

Use your bedroom language with your spouse during lovemaking. These words can be whatever you have established ahead of time as being ok.

Be sure to describe to your lover what you like about their body. Share with them how their motions make you feel. Tell them what you can see and how it turns you on.

Of course, you need to make sure you aren’t talking too much that it causes you or them to feel distracted.

These are a few things you can do as a couple to feel sexy together. All of these ideas are things you can do in the bedroom.

I realize that there are other things you can do as a couple to feel sexy, other than what you do behind closed doors. I think that physical intimacy is a great place to start, though. 

Feel free to leave me a response to this question in the comments section.

What kinds of things do you and your spouse do to feel attractive?

If you liked this post, check out the one I wrote about:

How Developing Separate Interests Helps Friendship in Marriage



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101 Responses

  1. Very good advice Keelie.

    I wish more couples would realize the benefit of the “hands on” effect. It is so sensual, pleasing and gives you the feeling of being loved and desires.

  2. Just being together is the best way for my husband to make me feel attractive. We also try to give the other one the love language that works best. And there’s nothing wrong with a good back massage or just simple hand holding. There are so many ways couples can help one another feel attractive! Thank you for the reminders!

  3. My Hubs and I love to spend time together. Usually just a hot drink together while the kiddos are napping, but it sure does help us feel more connected. Thanks for the post, I think that it is SO important to invest in your marriage! 🙂

  4. Every couple, particularly the newly married need to read this article. It such simple small things that others tend to forget or take for granted that will then lead to a bigger divide. This post is good, I tell you

  5. I used to feel a bit self-conscious when taking photos, but I was able to get over that by taking ‘selfies’. I never posted them on anything, just kept them on my phone and deleted them afterwards, but it made me more comfortable in front of the camera when taking photos with others.

    1. Yeah, I know a lot of people have hated the hole selfie movement, but I am with you, selfies helped me get more comfortable in front of the camera.

  6. Spicy tips for sure! The lighting tip was my favorite. Just make sure your relationship is rock solid before bringing a camera into your intimate moments. Could led to some potentially embarrassing scenarios down the road.

  7. These are wonderful tips for marriage! I have to say that being OK with how I look has been very hard for me….but knowing my husband loves me and my body (after 4 kids) makes it a lot better!

  8. Yes, having self-confidence is key to developing physical intimacy. When I am not feeling good about my fitness or eating habits and the resulting appearance of my body, it is hard to be confident in the bedroom with my husband. One thing I remind myself and others of is that (hopefully) our body is the only one that our husbands will look at and touch in the flesh. To him, it is a thing of beauty no matter what because it belongs to him and him alone. We need to let our husbands enjoy our bodies so they are satisfied with us only. Great, provocative post!

  9. This is a great list of specific actions! My husband and I are both struggling a little bit individually with appreciating how we look but for some reason when we are together, there’s no awkwardness or hesitation. I think part of it is because he is so enthusiastic. I know when he looks at me that there is no one else more desirable to him in the world, and it’s hard to not catch that excitement.

    1. I get you on this one. It can be really hard to have a good self image. So important to come up with ways to feel good about yourself.

  10. What a post! So much work and so many tips and this was such a refresher (coz we all forget after being married for this long!)
    Thank u! Totally enjoyed it and Ive saved it too 🙂

  11. I love taking pictures together. Plus, with digital cameras and camera phones, you can actually perfect one photo to keep with you whenever you’re feeling less than sexy!

  12. Very good advice! And may I add, the best “accessory” we can have is our spouse. The love you have for eachother will make both of you exude with happiness that can transcend to others…

  13. These are some great tips! It’s awesome when you and your spouse can find each other’s groove. My husband just called me on his lunch break to ask me out on a date tonight, and it totally made my day. He almost always calls on his lunch break, and it’s great to know he’s thinking of me.

  14. This was a great post! Me and my husband have double sinks in our bathroom so we are always in the mirror together. We also make sure to have professional photos done once a year 🙂

  15. Very interesting, not the type of article you read everyday. But these things need to be thought and talked about. It’s all part of a successful relationship.

    1. Hahaha…you’re response made me laugh, because I’m a marriage and sex blogger, so I read these types of articles every day! Lol…I’m glad that you found it interesting. Thanks for stopping by to check it out.

  16. I liked this post. Hubby and I have been married 10 years but we still flirt. It makes it fun and exciting! I am going to give a few of these ideas a try too!

    1. Leila, I’ve been married for 12 years, and I can say that 10 years into it, we really started committing to doing more to be intimate. That is why our sex life took off. I hope that the same will happen for you. 🙂

  17. Wow, great tips. Lots of these make me feel super insecure, and I don’t think I’d be able to do them. I really struggle with intimacy in my marriage due to insecurities. Another one I thought of (because it’s a struggle for me as well) is dancing with your partner.

    1. I completely understand Grace. It is so hard to be vulnerable, even in our marriages. That is why it is good to pick one thing and go for it. Over time, you will warm up to it and it will help you. Good luck on finding ways to be more secure in who you are. It is so important that you do that.

  18. My other half and I put on some weight due going on a lot of dates which includes eating a lot.Recently I went back to yoga and she came along she loved it.That what makes us feel attrative

    1. Yoga is great for your mind and your strength. That is great to work out with your significant other. Anytime you can do things together as a couple, it can really build your bond.

  19. There are certainly great tips in this post. I did not think about the mirror in this way, new trick to put in my sexy tool box thank you. I agree with you about the lighting, it can certainly create the ambiance in the room and toss in a little back ground music. Candles have a way of flicking dancing shadows across the walls and keep a room warm as well. Thanks for a great post.


  20. These are some great tips. I don’t feel attractive and I don’t know if there’s anything he can do to change that. He’s highly attracted to me even though I don’t quite see why. I certainly couldn’t stand in the mirror next to him. He’s looking better than ever these days. Makes me feel worse.

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