“Do you think a high percentage of married couples are unhappy?”, that is a question that I heard discussed on a talk show the other day. The individual that was answering the questions in the interview told the hosts that when she asks this question to random people, normally the answer is that only somewhere around 30% of married couples are happy. However, according to a study that this individual conducted, she stated that at least 80% of married people are actually happy in their relationships. I’m not certain if this study is accurate or not, but there does seem to be a big discrepancy across the board when looking at studies as to whether or not married couples are happy or not.
Giving up Before You Get Started
Some people have given up on marriage before it has even gotten started. There are many people who choose to draw up pre-nuptial agreements for that very reason. A great many couples deciede to never get married, but to just live together because they have the idea that very few married couples are happy. If this study is actually true, then there are a great many more couples that are happy to be together then many people realize. Strained and failing marriages make for great sitcoms and movie story lines, but in real life, they are not funny at all. Just because it is portrayed on television that relationships are one way, doesn’t mean that they are true for everyone. Take a look around at the couples that you know, and ask them honestly if they are happy. Not everyone will give you a straight answer, but you might find that through your own inquisition that more people are happily married than are not; or maybe you’ll see that the couples around you are indeed unhappy.
What Does it Mean to Be Happy in Marriage
I think that for everyone, the definition of happy has a different meaning. What I think happiness feels like, or looks like, might not be what comes to your mind when you think about happiness. In your own marriage, it is important that you have real expectations of what it means to be happy with your spouse. There will be days when you and your spouse will fight, but does that mean you don’t have a happy marriage? How many fights does it take for you to no longer have a happy marriage? You can’t keep from having difficult days with your husband or wife, but that doesn’t mean that you are unhappy in your marriage. Even if you are unhappy for a period of time, it also doesn’t mean that you can’t be happy in your marriage one day.
Weathering the Storm
If you are in a relationship where you don’t feel happy, it is important that you take on a mindset that you will weather the storms of life with your significant other. There will be difficult times that come in your relationship and you will either be determined to see the storm through, or you will give up. Taking on the attitude that you won’t give up, even when times are difficult is the key to success in making it through difficult times with your spouse. Just like any other hard situation in your life, it will pass. You won’t be stuck in the middle of frustrations forever. There will be times when you are upset with your circumstances, but you can make up your mind to stick it out until they change.
Happier on the Other Side
Shared experiences are what brings us closer in relationship with anyone, especially if it is through a difficult experience. There is just something about going through a hard time with someone, and then coming out on the other side being so much closer than you were before. If you are having a hard time with your spouse, I encourage you to adopt the mindset that you can get through this situation. It might be hard now, but on the other side, your relationship will be closer. Don’t accept defeat, just keep pushing on. Be reminded that you are on the same team with our spouse; stop fighting against them and start fighting with them.
You will be able to make it through the difficult trials and times in your relationship as long as you decide you can. When you let the doubts enter your mind that you can’t do this anymore, then you have given up. Take hope in the fact that while things may be hard right now, and you might be unhappy for a time, it isn’t forever. You will make it through this if you just set your mind to it.
Keelie is a mother of three amazing boys and married to her high school sweetheart, Austin. She spends her days running R5 Website Management, taking care of the home, and investing in her children. In her spare time, she loves to encourage married couples to grow deeper in their relationship and find joy in their marriage.