What happens when you suddenly wake up and wonder what happened to the person you married? It can be very unsettling and frustrating to realize that the person you fell in love with is not the same inside as they were when you got married.
Some change is a good thing and that can be positive for the person. But what are you supposed to do when your spouse makes changes that you don’t consider to be positive? That might be something had for you to deal with.
Over time, everyone changes, whether we know it or not. Hopefully, these things can happen when a change occurs that you aren’t a fan of.
Have Patience With Your Spouse
The changes you see in your spouse might not be perpetual. We all go through those “rock and a hard place” moments and you’re not sure if it’s going to pass. If the changes just happened and haven’t been going on for very long, maybe give them some time. It might be that they are going through a difficult and time will go back to how they have always been.
Try To Find The Bright Side When There Is a Change
Try to find the good in the changes that you have taken note of. Try not to dwell solely on the bad, it doesn’t all have to be a negative change. It might take a little bit of time, but try to get some different perspective on the changes.
Support Them in Being Their True to Themselves
I know it can be hard to encourage your spouse to live their true self with you aren’t entirely happy with the change. You don’t want to damage your marriage by making someone feel bad about themselves. No one wants to feel unloved because of who they have become.
Don’t Attempt To Change Them
I know this is difficult, but trying to change a person doesn’t work. Understand that people are going to do what they want and you can’t change them. It is inevitably up to the person to change. Understand that they might not be aware of the ways that they have changed. So have an open dialogue about it without attacking them.
Address Issues, Not Identity Qualities
If you have an issue with something your spouse is doing or saying, you need to address it. You need to know going into the conversation not to attack their personality. If something is truly bothering you with a change that has happened.
No one ever stays the same, change is something that happens to everyone. Allow your spouse to be who they are and, in spite of changes, love them. Marriage can be difficult and it’s up to both of you to communicate and fight for each other.
Keelie is a mother of three amazing boys and married to her high school sweetheart, Austin. She spends her days running R5 Website Management, taking care of the home, and investing in her children. In her spare time, she loves to encourage married couples to grow deeper in their relationship and find joy in their marriage.