How to Get in The Mood When You Don’t Feel Like it

Here is an age-old problem, figuring out how to get in the mood when you don’t feel like it. If you have been married for any length of time, then you know there will be times when your spouse wants to be with you, and you are not up for it. Of course, you don’t want to keep from connecting with them, so you have to figure out how to get in the mood quickly and in a hurry. 

when you don't feel like it

Try doing some of these things to get yourself there. 

Invest in The Right Foreplay

By right foreplay, I mean the things that you respond to. Guide your partner on precisely what you need to feel more in the mood. Listen to your body and ask yourself what is feeling good right now and what might feel good. 

It is ok to ask for extra attention if you aren’t feeling it. If your spouse wants to spend time with you, then they will help you get there. 

Fake it Till You Make it

I’m not talking about faking the big O here. I’m just talking about, act like you are in the mood until you get there. It is ok to put a little theatrics into it, even if you have to pretend a bit. You can trick your mind into being in the mood if your body does the things that you do when you’re feeling excited. 

Look in the Mirror

Spend time visually stimulating one another. You can stand in front of a mirror together and rub one another’s bodies. This will help all of your senses at once. Even if you are not a highly visual person, you might find that you can get in the mood faster if you see yourself in a sexual light. 

Wear Something Sexy

Put on something that you feel good wearing. Maybe it is a tight pair of pants and shirt, or something more risque’. Whatever you choose, put on clothing that helps you feel good about yourself. When you feel sexy, it is easier to act that way. 

Train Yourself With Fragrance

This one is something you can add to your everyday sex life that will help you on those days. Pick a certain fragrance to wear or candle to burn each time you get intimate. Train your mind to associate that scent with physical arousal and pleasure. 

On the days that you do not feel in the mood but want to get there, pull out that fragrance. It will help your mind make the shift. 

Just Go Ahead and Have Sex

Sometimes you just have to go ahead and have sex. Women are much more likely to enter a sexual encounter without being that aroused. You have to be willing to get there once you engage in intercourse. If you go into it with the right mindset, your body will start responding. 

If you never feel in the mood or have a hard time regularly, then it may be time you speak to your doctor. They may need to check your hormone levels or switch medications.

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4 Responses

  1. I love the idea of fragrance. Scent is one of the strongest senses linked to memory for humans.
    However, my wife and I have used a different way to help her get in the mood. The key is to understand that guys are microwaves, but women are ovens…it takes them longer (usually) to get warmed up. I work with metal/wood/leather for hobbies, so a few years ago I made my wife special bracelets that I put on her to let her know that later on in the day I want to have sex with her. She can wear them in front of anyone and no one is suspicious of anything, but she knows what they mean. Sometimes just putting them on after dinner is enough to get her warmed up, but I’ve also put them on her first thing in the morning (which she says kept her “hot and bothered” all day every time she remembered that she was wearing them!) Maybe bracelets aren’t your thing, but having something to wear might help her get into the mood.

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