All couples have times when their marriage is on the rocks. ALL COUPLES! I mean, not to scream at you or anything, but I want you to know that it is normal to be upset and mad at each other. What’s not normal is to never fight. Not fighting means someone is just going along with the other person and it will end badly one day.
I think couples counseling is more important than most people think. One of the things I appreciate about the Marriage 365 creators, is that they recommend everyone get counseling. We all need help navigating our problems and having someone teach us how to be objective in relationships.
But, if you aren’t someone that thinks you should go preemptively, whether it be on account of money or principle, here are some sure-fire reasons you should go.
1. You Argue And Never Resolve
Arguing is going to happen in any relationship, otherwise, you aren’t in a relationship. In fact, a marriage that lacks arguing isn’t necessarily a good one. Lack of fighting is usually a sign of apathy.
While arguing can be good, if it doesn’t get you anywhere, then it is time to think about seeing a counselor. Fighting for too long without resolution will only bring bitterness into your marriage.
2. Dreading Being With One Another
As the song goes, even lovers need a holiday. It is ok to take a break from your spouse for a few hours or even a few days. However, if you find yourself constantly avoiding one another, there are deeper problems.
When you do not want to be around your spouse for long periods of time, then you are in a bad place together.
3. Intimacy and Sex is Lacking
I’m not talking about the occasional time a couple goes through where both are really busy and neither seem to be in the mood. However, if that trend continues, then there are problems in the marriage.
Dealing with the topic of sex in marriage brings about a lot of stress for couples. That is why going to a counselor for this situation can be beneficial to both of you. The counselor can help to point out to the couple the underlying problems.
Just something to take into consideration, it’s almost never about the sex.
4. Separation is on Your Mind
This is a really good indicator that you and your spouse are not working through the problems. Before divorce is on the table, separation enters a person’s mind. It is very important that you stop these thoughts immediately.
A lot of people do not bring up marriage counseling to their partners, because they immediately assume they will not go. There is no doubt that suggesting counseling will cause the other person to feel offended. However, it is important that you bring in a third party when you and your spouse are not communicating the way you should.
Almost all problems in a marriage stem from poor communication. That is why counselors are helpful to a couple. They can see the big picture and show each person where they are failing.
Going to a counselor can often be the difference between a failed marriage and one that is successful. If you are married and do not want to see it crumble, then it is on you to do something about it.