Since I was a teenager, I’ve slept without my clothes on. I know…more information than what you wanted to know about me. The reason I started doing that was purely because of comfort. I have the tendency to get tangled up in the blankets if I wear clothes. To save myself the hassle, I eliminated the problem years ago.
There are a lot of things that being naked when you head to bed can do for your relationship.
How Sleeping in the Without Clothes Has Benefited My Marriage
What I didn’t know about my habit of sleeping in my birthday suit, is that it would enhance my marriage. This habit has allowed me to get really comfortable around my husband. That is huge for any of us in a romantic and intimate relationship.
Nakedness equals vulnerability. I’ve learned to be vulnerable around my husband and trust him greatly. That alone has helped to build intimacy in my marriage.
Another benefit I have found is that it gives my husband and I more time to be naked together when we are not having sex. There is something comforting about being next to your spouse without any barriers. I think it is the same concept that we use for babies when we put them naked on our chests. It builds intimacy and closeness.
Getting In Bed Undressed Increases Your Chances of Having Sex
If having sex is the only time your spouse ever sees you naked, then you will certainly need to be prepared for an increase in your sexual encounters. I’m saying that as a way to prepare you for the inevitable. If the thought of your husband wanting more sex worries you, go HERE to read how to get yourself in the mood ahead of time.
Getting into bed without clothing on is a pretty bold move for some. If your husband wasn’t thinking about sex, he likely will be. That can be problematic if you are trying to keep from turning him on. Let’s hope you aren’t trying to do that!
Going to bed in the nude will not automatically mean you will have sex. It does increase the likelihood but doesn’t mean you have to have sex every night. If you have always worn pajamas up to your neck and one night get into bed naked, it is sure to cause a happy reaction from your man.
Building Non-Sexual Intimacy Leads to A Deeper Relationship
Over time, it will be more commonplace and you will start to build non-sexual intimacy. As you and your spouse grow older, you both will appreciate the many facets of intimacy that occur in a marriage.
Getting Comfortable Naked In Front of Your Spouse
The biggest issue you may have with sleeping naked is simply getting comfortable with this in front of your spouse. There are a lot of people that write in to tell me they don’t know how to be naked around their husband or wife without feeling awkward.
Here are a few tips I have:
- Spend time naked in front of a mirror on your own. Allow yourself to see yourself naked more and more. This will also get you used to seeing yourelf without clothes on.
- Stop looking at images of naked people or unrealistic body types whether they are clothed or not. You have no idea if the image you are looking at is at all real anyways. The amount of photo editing that went into the image could be massive.
- Spend time around your spouse naked. Little by little, increase the time you spend with them without clothes on. Even if you are not comfortable going to bed without your clothing, you can at least do a little bit more each day.
If you are just starting out, you might only see one or two things that cause you to feel intimate with your loved one. There will come a day when other activities in your life will help you feel close.
17 comments
Big Scotty D
I totally agree! Like you, I started sleeping naked just because it was more comfortable. (Nothing worse than being woken up by things getting pinched in your underwear!) My wife has always thought this was weird, but I’ve always been very comfortable in my own skin. I finally got her to start sleeping naked a few months ago and she did agree that she enjoyed it, but then it became winter and she broke out the flannel PJs…guess we’ll try again in the summer. However, I do love skin on skin contact and I do sleep better when we’re both naked. Maybe it’s because that’s how God intended it to be!
Keelie Reason
It’ll be good to try in summer!
Happily Married
It’s so true! There’s been times when hubby has had a lot on his mind and has spent the whole evening tuning it out and struggling to open up about it. But when I got into bed naked and snuggled up to him after we got to bed the flood gates opened. There’s just something about me being naked that makes him feel more secure and helps him know I love him and I’m not going anywhere. It was a powerful lesson I learned and just goes to show that sex is not all physical for a guy…and your “looks” are not all he cares about…and there is such a thing as non-sexual nudity and closeness. Sometimes it’s a comfort and reassurance to him to be skin to skin with his wife. 🙂 And making love afterwards never hurts… 😉
Keelie Reason
that’s awesome! I’m so glad you that has helped you so much.
Bea
I would love to do this but kids make it a bit difficult…any suggestions for that?
Keelie Reason
Hey there Bea,
yeah, I understand your concerns. I have three boys aged 3, 8, and 9. What we have done is teach our children to knock on the door before they come in. This gives me a chance to cover up or get presentable. When they were very little, we would lock our door as part of teaching them to knock and give us our privacy.
I keep a robe by my bed so that if they need me in the middle of the night, I can get up and put on the robe right away. Like I said in my post, I’ve slept without clothes on since I was a teenager. I haven’t found it to be too difficult with kids to sleep naked. I just tell them that they should always knock before they come in because I might be getting dressed. They get it and have learned to stay out.
Even when we are out of town and sharing a room, I take off my pants at least, when I get in the bed. It’s been a true comfort thing for me to sleep without clothes on. I guess it has made me be pretty diligent about teaching my kids to knock on the door, or give me a minute before they get in bed with me.
Hope this helps you! I think you can train your children to knock on the door and give you privacy. Good luck. 🙂
Dan
You are so right about being naked in bed providing the opportunity for creating more non-sexual touch in a marriage. It is true that if you have been starving your husband’s visual and tactile senses, the two of you will likely go through an adjustment period of increased sexual touching and other sexual attentions. After he reaches a satiation point and knows your nude body will be available to him on a regular and repeating basis things will calm down some.
There may be increased sexual attention because of the increased opportunity to touch your body, but the nonsexual touching will begin to grow and this will provide for increased bonding experiences.
I know when my wife and I go through an extended stretch without sex, the first thing I want to do is spend a prolonged period just touching her all over her body from her toes to the top of her head. I am in no rush to get to the sex. I need that lengthy physical contact first. I can see I need to do a post about that.
You are also correct in that it should help wives hopefully become more comfortable being nude in front of their husbands. A wife may even begin to see his looks as admiring and desiring and not leering.
Glad to have found this blog linking from Sex Within Marriage. That’s the first time I have seen you comment or I suspect I would have been here sooner.
Keelie Reason
Thanks so much for stopping by. It is true, men need to see their wives naked. As a woman, I think that is a hard concept to be ok with sometimes.
I just found sex within marriage the other day. I have only had a chance to read a few of the posts since then. I went over to your blog, and I read a post. It was very insightful. I did try to leave a message, but I was asked to sign into my wordpress account, but for some reason, I can’t ever get that to work right for me. It was about a woman and duty sex and how she can help herself understand what feels good for her body. I know that is a very hard thing for a lot of women. It is good to write about these topics to help those that struggle.
Dan
You do have a wordPress account? If so what is it telling you when you try to sign in? I see you have had this problem before. I used to have it when I commented on Blogger. I would tell me my I did not own that user name which, of course, I did. I found I could use OpenID. Try that. You enter your url including the http;//. Use this one;
https://lovehopeadventure.com if it is registered with WordPress as your OpenID username. Give it a shot.
Before you hit the comment button, cntrl/C your comment to have a copy. It if doesn’t take, it dumps your comment and you have to rewrite. It a good practice to get into with any comment you write before hitting comment. Just remember, that comment is held in the cache until you overwrite it with another “copy” of something. Someone may cntrl/V something you wish they hadn’t seen.
You can see how it works here:
http://surrenderednewbea.blogspot.com/2014/11/best-wife-ever.html
Im the “youguystalkedmeintothis” comment. That’s an OpenID tag.
Keelie Reason
It wants me to sign into my wordpress account, which I have right? I own this blog. So, I used this website URL and then when I submit a comment, it asks me to login. So, I use the same login info that I do to get into this blog. It rejects it. I’ve been having this problem with other blogs as well that want me to login to my wordpress account. It just keeps telling me I have the wrong password, which I do not have the wrong password!
Good idea with the copying my comments. It is annoying to loose what I spent time writing, and even more annoying to not be able to interact. I don’t know what Open ID is. can you email me about this at [email protected]? Maybe you can help me figure it out. I’m so lost!
Dan
Sorry it took so long to get back. I didn’t get an email when your replied to my comment.
“It wants me to sign into my wordpress account, which I have right?”
Is that question rhetorical or are you asking me if you have a WordPress account?
If you have a WordPress account, you likely have OpenID with it. Below the comment box, it asks When it says “Comment as” and asks you to choose a aprofile. You click on “OpenID”. In the OpendID profile it asks you to enter You enter the “OpenID URL” in the box. You enter the following:
https://lovehopeadventure.com and only that exactly like that. If it prefills with an extra “http://” delete the extra before entering the ID.
Then you can hit preview or go straight to publish. Allow it time to publish the comment. I will appear either in moderation or be immediately published depending on how the publisher has the blog set up. Don’t forget to Cntrl-C your comment first in case something goes wrong. if nothing else, you can comment using Name/URL but it doesn’t show a hyperlink to your blog with the comment. Let me know how it works. If it say it cannot verify your OpenID credentials then you need to establish an account. Go read here:
http://openid.net/get-an-openid/what-is-openid/
Keelie Reason
I think I figured out a different way to leave comments on your website. I’m pretty sure I was reading an article this morning that I left a comment on. Thanks for the info. I’ll do some more reading for when I run into that prob again.
Thanks for being so awesome. 🙂
Larry B
Good insightful article. Naturally, many wives feel vulnerable when fully nude, but within the loving security of their marriage, they can learn to embrace the vulnerability.
For the wife who may need to try this in steps, she can come to bed without the pajamas but still have a tee shirt and panties on. Then when she is more comfortable, she can get into bed fully nude.
Your point about building non-sexual intimacy is helpful. Being close and vulnerable with each other does help to build trust and emotional intimacy.
Keelie Reason
Thanks so much for your insights Larry. I checked out your blog. 🙂 You have some great insights too. I tried to leave a comment, but I couldn’t sign into wordpress for some reason and it would let me leave the message.