My parents served as a huge example to me and continue to do so. One of the things my mom has always been passionate about is investing in people. Whatever that looks like, she takes the time to invest in the lives of those around her. In particular, her investment in married couples has always stuck out to me.
When I was a pre-teen and teenager, my mom would “adopt” a couple, so to speak. She did a lot of things to invest in the couple.
One of the biggest ways she would help a couple was through encouraging them to let her keep the children while they went away on a date. In fact, my parents do this for all of my married siblings and myself.
They have left a huge impression on me about how important it is to invest in other married couples.
Why it Is Important to Invest in Another Couple
I have a huge passion to invest in other couples and I have had noticed a lot of great things as a result.
The people we put time an energy into reap the benefits of having someone in their lives that care about them. When someone see that their marriage matters to someone else, inevitably, they pay more attention to it as well.
Personally, my mom has shown me how important my marriage is, because of her investment in it. If someone else sees the value in what you have, and points it out, it helps you understand the value.
What Investing In Others Does For My Marriage
Of course there are great benefits for the couple I invest in, but there are plenty of things that happen in my own marriage as a result of the investment.
First, I evaluate where I am in my own marriage. It is always important to evaluate what is going on in your own life. When I talk with a person about their marriage and hear what is going on, it causes me to do a lot of self reflection. Actually, writing this blog is doing a very good job of that as of late.
The other thing that I notice, is that I become excited about my own relationship. Think of it like this, when you go to a wedding and see the love of the bride and groom, it gets you excited about love. That carries over into your own romantic relationship.
Also, investing in others gives Austin and I something to work towards together. This a wonderful team building exercise for us. It really helps us to build a more loving relationship with one another, because we are loving on others in our lives.
How to Invest in a Married Couple
If you are interested in putting time and energy into others, but just don’t know how, I’ve got some great tips for you. These are all things that I have done and continue to do for people that come into my life.
- Offer babysitting for them to go out– this is a huge help to any married couple. Dating is very important to your relationship, but without a trusted sitter, it is impossible. Instead of waiting to be approached, go to the couple and offer. Don’t leave it open ended either. Set up a specific day that will work with both of your schedules.
- Remember their anniversary- I don’t go all out on my anniversary, but it is an important day that we celebrate in our own way. However, it is a true blessing when others remember our anniversary. If you are investing in another couple, send them a card or offer babysitting for their anniversary. In some way, recognize the milestone for them.
- Give gifts that will encourage a more intimate sex life- I know that not everyone will be comfortable in giving gifts that will encourage a couple to explore each other physically. However, I’ve never had a couple respond in a negative way about this. I’ve been putting together “honeymoon” or “romantic” baskets for years for people I know. Just buy items that are mild and won’t offend, but will get the point across. (Candles, lotion, and massage oils are always a good thought)
- Check in with them about their relationship- all of us go through times where our relationship hits a rocky patch. We might not call someone on the phone out of the blue and tell them what is going on. However, if someone calls to check in on us, we will be more willing to open up.
- Randomly do something to celebrate their relationship- I am a huge fan of celebrating the people in my life. This can be done in a very small way, or something on a larger scale. At random, find a way to celebrate the couple and their marriage. You can send an encouraging card that reminds them of the love they share. A small gift can send the right message. Maybe you’ll want to babysit so they can go out on a date.
- Keep their kids overnight- if you are up to it, consider keeping their kids overnight. All couples needs to have a getaway and not everyone lives close to family. If you can, consider keeping their kids so that they can spend a night away.
We Must Always Invest In Our Relationships And Others
Marriage is very important to me. I want to see people keep the commitments they made to God, one another, and all of the witnesses at their wedding.
I understand that having a happy marriage takes a lot of hard work, and the hard work never EVER stops! You don’t ever just arrive.
There is this country song, “Looks Like We Made It” song by Shania Twain. The gist of the song is that she and her man broke everyone’s expectations and made it as a couple. While I understand the sentiment behind the song, this is not a statement any couple can make until the day one of them dies.
This is How We Fight For Other’s Marriages
We all need someone that is cheering for our marriage. There will be days when you won’t be able to cheer for yourself, and that is why it is so important that others are standing with you.
Austin’s and my philosophy of ministry is that you have to build relationships above anything else. One day, the people you engage with will have difficult things happen.
If you already have the relationship established, you can be there to help them. If you aren’t already in place, it can seem like an intrusion into the person’s life when you come to help.
Investing in other’s marriages is our way of fighting for their marriage. When they have those periods of time that come where they want to give up, we are in place to fight for them.
If we weren’t already vested in their marriage, the chances of us knowing something was wrong before it was too late, is pretty slim to none. Should the relationship end, we are there to help pick up the pieces, also.
Austin and I can’t be there for everyone, but we can be there for some people. As Christians, if we are instructed to disciple others. When we do this, together we can fight for marriage together.