This coming weekend, Fifty Shades of Grey is opening in the theaters. Many couples have decided that this movie will be what they do together to celebrate Valentine’s Day. Sure, why wouldn’t a man want to take his wife or girlfriend to a fun and romantic movie? Seems like the cat is in the bag for many.
Should you go see Fifty Shades of Grey?
For some, it is not a question of whether or not they will go, it is what time they can go. For others, there is a serious question being posed. Should you go to see a movie that explores the concept of being tied up, dominance, and other forms of this type of intimate pleasure?
I can’t personally speak to the content of the book because I haven’t read it. I know…I will lose half of you right now for saying that. However, it doesn’t take an avid reader of romance novels to get a good idea of what is going on in the book.
I can’t and won’t tell you what to do….but I will ask you to think…
Maybe you have definite plans to go see the movie and have a time set up. In that case, these questions likely won’t sway you to cancel your plans. If you are trying to decide if it is a movie you want to see, then take a few minutes to ask yourself some of these questions.
1. How do you feel like about the kind of intimate encounters that are being portrayed?
Do you have any hesitancy about the kinds of role playing that takes place with bondage, dominance, sadism, and masochism? If you haven’t read the book, you do need to know that this movie explores this type of sexual encounters. In case you are wondering, the main characters are barely dating before they start shacking up.
You can check out what Jay Dee has to say in the post Should Christians Read Erotic Literature? I agree with all the points of the article.
2. What are your thoughts about pornography?
Are you ok if your spouse looks at porn? In your mind, what constitutes as porn? I can’t say for sure how much nudity and sex will be in the flick, but that is what the book is about. You can pretty much guarantee that there will be a whole lot more than innuendo. At what point do you consider a movie to be pornographic?
3. Will you be willing to role play with your significant other after watching this movie?
If you are taking your spouse or partner to this movie, are you ready to experiment with this type of play? It will be hard to convince your significant other that you didn’t take them to the movie if you weren’t willing to experiment later on.
4. Are you willing to accept that watching this movie could negatively impact you?
Anytime you put yourself in a position where you watch sexual fantasies portrayed, you are putting yourself at risk of being negatively impacted. You plant an idea in your mind of how sex is supposed to be, but will likely never be in real life.
5. Are You Truly Ok With How Christian Treats Anastasia?
In all seriousness, are you ok with the abusive language and attitude that Christian uses toward Anastasia? Is this the kind of fantasy in which you hope your loved one treats you? Maybe she has some radical sex in which she says she enjoys. I don’t really know.
Can I just make an observation? You can have mind blowing sex without being treated like this. Emotional and physical abuse are very real in relationships. Are you putting your stamp of approval on this type of behavior in a relationship?
These are just a few questions that you can ponder before you decide whether or not you want to go see that movie. Maybe you have read the books, and have had no problems with it. Maybe you are ready to go see the movie because it is a blockbuster.
Why I Am Not Going to See Fifty Shades of Grey
For me, choosing to not see this movie has nothing to do with the forms of play that is being explored. I am not for this type of intimacy per say, but it has more to do with my unwillingness to read the book or watch the movie.
I believe that watching people being sexually intimate is wrong. I also think that it is wrong to read fantasy that portrays sensual writing and explicit words.
There are many movies I have chosen to skip out on, even though I really thought the concept might be good. In my opinion, it is damaging to your mind and relationships to read or watch sexual fantasies.
Trying New Things in the Bedroom is ok
I’m all for trying out new things in the bedroom, don’t get me wrong. I don’t really need someone else to paint a unrealistic picture for me. Instead, my husband and I work with one another to create the experiences we have with one another.
In my opinion, if you want to take your physical intimacy to the next level, there are plenty of ways to do that in a God honoring way. You do not have to watch porn or fantasies to learn to explore your spouse.
Abuse is Rampant in the Movie
Another major reason I’m not for this book series, is the abusive language that Christian uses toward Anastasia. Ok, some say she is the hero at the end of the book because she changes him and liberates him. Again, ladies, that is complete fiction.
Real women that are treated like that have horrible lives and rarely see their husbands or partners change. Furthermore, even if you play into the fantasy aspect of it, no person on the planet should stay in a relationship like that. I don’t care if it will end in a good thing.
Do abuse victims love their abusers? Sure. Does that mean they need to stay with them and be treated like garbage? No. The only real way to be the hero in this type of relationship is to walk away, draw boundaries, and pray that God will change that person.
What About You? Will You Watch Fifty Shades of Grey?