A lot of women have a difficult time achieving the ultimate physical pleasure. The good news is that you are capable of reaching the height of physical intimacy. Some ladies need more mental preparation than others. It takes overcoming mental challenges in order to reach bliss.
Admit That You Want to Be Aroused and Reach Bliss
Often times, a woman has a hard time admitting their need for sexual pleasure. There are a lot of reasons that you might not be willing to say you want your husband to please you.
Have you dealt with sexual abuse in your past? This can be a huge road block for letting go during intercourse. Sexual abuse victims are conditioned to feel bad about their bodies responses to sexual stimulation. If this is something you have dealt with, it could be keeping you from experiencing an orgasm.
Not to sound stereotypical, but a lot of times, women are more shy when it comes to their bodies. Do you feel embarrassed talking about sex, even with your spouse? If you have a hard time discussing sex, then it will affect your ability to climax.
Some women have a hard time talking about romance because of a strict religious upbringing. If you have spent any time on my blog at all, you will know that I love God and am a follower of Jesus. However, I will not ignore the fact that there are a lot of people that think talking about sex is wrong, even in the context of marriage.
It is important that you first admit to yourself that it is ok to want to orgasm and work toward having one. When you can accept that it is ok to be pleased sexually, you will have a better chance of climax.
Understand What Pleases Your Body
Again, I will generalize that women have a harder time feeling comfortable with their bodies. We do not self explore our genitals the way men do. Even as I write this, I can feel you are cringing at the thought of touching yourself.
I am not advocating that you take up masturbating. However, I am suggesting that you understand what feels good to you. Self exploration can take place in the presence of your husband.
I feel you cringing again. Stop. This is what I mean when I say women have a harder time admitting they want pleasure. Our first instincts are to conceal, don’t feel…especially if we have sexual baggage.
In order to climax, it is important that you know what feels good. You must be willing to guide your husband with your words or your hands. If you are in a trusting and loving relationship, he will want to do this for you.
Figure Out When You are Most Aroused
There are certain times during the month that your body is naturally aroused. It has to do with your period cycle. Your body wants you to fertilize the egg inside of you.
There is a short window in the month that you will feel aroused without trying. Mark those days on your calendar and try to figure out the pattern. Shoot to plan an intimate night during those days. You have a better chance of climaxing when your body is already there.
Decide if You Are Ok With Direct Stimulation
Not everyone lady will be ok with direct clitoral stimulation. The first time you orgasm, this might be exactly what it takes. A lot of woman can not achieve climax without direct stimulation.
If you do not feel comfortable touching your own cliterous, then I am guessing you will have a hard time letting your husband. God designed your body to feel pleasure from that spot, and it is ok that you feel good when you are touched there.
Your husband can either use his hands, mouth, or a vibrator to stimulate this area. If you aren’t comfortable with one of those methods, that is ok. You must decide what you are comfortable with and go for it.
Talk To Your Husband
Talk to your husband about your desires and expectations ahead of time. Admit to him that you want him to sexually please you. Tell him what you would like to try in order to achieve that.
Also, you will need to talk with him during intercourse or manual stimulation about what feels good. Do not be afraid to tell him to stop doing something or start doing something different. Keep a kind attitude and he will be happy to help you.
Get Yourself in The Mood
It takes us ladies a lot longer to get in the mood than it does our men. There are a lot of things you can do during the day that will get you excited about lovemaking.
Make a Plan For a Night of Romance
For most ladies, it takes a lot to have their first orgasm. Even the ones you have thereafter will take concerted effort. If you are tired or pressed for time, it will cause you to not feel distracted during intercourse.
Take the time to plan a night of romance. Set it up a few days in advance. You can go HERE and read my suggestions on how to plan for a romantic night.
Let Anticipation Build Up For a Few Days
The longer you feel sexually stimulated before you attempt to achieve climax, the more likely you will be successful. Plan your romantic encounter a few days in advance. Agree with your husband to stay celibate for those few days.
Be sure you build anticipation about your night together. Intentionally think about the sex life you share with your spouse. Flirt hard with each other during those days. Let the anticipation build up so that you are ready.
This can be a wonderful time that you and your spouse feel connected. Be willing to take the journey with him to figure out what makes you feel the best.
Keelie is a mother of three amazing boys and married to her high school sweetheart, Austin. She spends her days running R5 Website Management, taking care of the home, and investing in her children. In her spare time, she loves to encourage married couples to grow deeper in their relationship and find joy in their marriage.